It is so subtle we barely even notice how or when it manifests.

But it does.

Even as someone who prides herself on being a strong, independent woman (insert Beyonce emoji here), I know that the lack of a father in my life has had an effect. My “daddy issues” or “childhood trauma,” though subtle, are evident in my efforts to not need anyone.

The intro to this video explains abandonment fears quite well:

“The fear of abandonment is one of the most damaging fears to many. A form of anxiety, a fear of abandonment often starts to form in childhood for those who have it. Usually, abandonment issues begin when one has experienced some sort of trauma or loss already, thus developing a fear from an already traumatic loss.

Each individual’s experience is different, with some mental health experts theorizing that an abandonment wound can arise due to challenges with past relationships, troubling social and life experiences, or interruptions in one’s development of certain cognitive and emotional capacities. So, do you suspect you may have a fear of abandonment? Watch along.”

Here are six signs that abandonment trauma is seeping into our lives and relationships:

1. You get attached too quickly.

2. You don’t fully commit to relationships.

3. You’re a people pleaser.

4. You struggle with emotional intimacy.

5. You look for flaws in your partner.

6. You experience separation anxiety.

Watch for more details: