Intimacy is beautiful, sacred, and something I think all humans long for, want, and need.

But, it can also be frightening—because it requires that we show our true, authentic selves.

It requires that we be willing to open ourselves to someone else, that we be emotionally vulnerable.

It means that we are willing to share our hurts, our pains, our fears, our insecurities, as well as our deepest hopes, dreams, and desires—all of the things we may have spent our lives hiding, protecting behind big, old walls—with another human being.

It can be scary. But it’s also beautiful. To be seen, heard, and felt in our truth. To feel safe in that truth. And to see, hear, and feel another in their truth.

As Brené Brown says, “Connection is why we’re here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.”

But how do we know if we have a fear of intimacy? And how do we move through it if we do?

The first step to moving through anything is awareness—to be aware that we have the fear. It’s simply to recognize the signs.

Because then we have the choice to begin to move it.

Another important part is self-love—to love, approve of, and accept ourselves. More than anything, we want to be seen, heard, and felt by ourselves—we want love, acceptance, and approval from ourselves.

Here are seven signs you have a fear of intimacy: