Reality check here, life isn’t always a bowl of cherries, it sometimes throws you lemons. I’ve learned that a lot lately, even with everything going on around me, there is still a downside. The side where you doubt yourself a little, nit pick at the things you do, and fall into a lull of darkness. That’s been me for about a month. I believe in the real world it’s called self sabotage. I’ve become very burnt out spreading myself very thin, for everyone including the reflection I look at in the mirror. It’s kind of ironic when the person who writes about their life and inspiring stories, loses their spark. I’ve cried by myself at night in bed, trying to figure out what’s wrong with me, asking my mother for guidance from the afterlife. Trying to find my way back to happy Taaury has been hard and exhausting.

It started I think when I took on additional projects, and while I balance my life pretty well, I often forget to have down time. Pushing myself to the limits of what I think is possible, because I don’t want this to be my side gig forever, I want to be a professional content creator. Showing my range from the topics that I do speak about, I am trying to catch the eye of the right person, at the right time. Realizing that my niche, is a difficult topic at time, I open myself to other styles, including what I create for Brainz. With creativity comes the need to also take constructive criticism, which in the past would have hurt, now helps me to improve where I have mistakes.

Learning to proofread my work before submitting, spellcheck and the way I format my writing, has been key to my success. I don’t want to kick myself later, for small errors that make or break the way my audience looks at my work. Again, I am a former perfectionist, so I’m learning that you can be human and still be taken seriously. Also being a Cancer and Sag moon and rising, well my zodiac is the perfect combo of my personality. I’m sensitive, yet strong and I do protect myself and my heart the best way I can. The only times you will really see me cry is when I’m sick or really hurt emotionally . At the end of the day, I would do anything for my friends and family, they are a big part of who I am.

As I continue to press on during this time, when the world is beginning to heal, I reflect on what was. We spent a year opening and closing, which gave me the time to create my pen name and company. Without that, I wouldn’t have experienced, the highs and lows, rejection and approvals. It’s thickened my skin, helped me see who was really in my corner and aided my expansion as a person. You don’t get anywhere in life, hanging in the cheap seats, if you want to fly, you have to learn to compete with the big dogs. Every connection I’ve made, long lasting or short, has been a lesson. Not everything is always for the best, truth is between the lines of what isn’t uttered. Use this as a learning curve, smile and just take notes. At the end of the day, you have yourself and that’s the person clapping the hardest.

In closing, writing professionally has been my dream since I was a child, being published made that a reality. It gave me a purpose besides just working a 9-5 day job. There isn’t a subject that you can put in front of me, that I can’t find a story for, and have my own spin on it. As I scan the websites for blog writers, I realize that there is still much to learn. This craft is ever changing, master what you know, and add what is needed. I feel as though I’m on the cusp of a breakthrough as a writer, finger crossed. There is no true recipe for success, but chasing your dreams, that’s a possibility that holds endless potential. Always believe in yourself, because remember the moon doesn’t shine without the stars.

Take Care,

Taaury