So much of what I have accomplished in my life isn’t because I planned it, I took chances, I celebrated the wins, learned from the losses, and messed up a hundred times along the way and things ended up working out to get me here. I do not regret any of it, nor wish to change any of it either. It’s always in hindsight, right?

Over 20 years ago, my goal for college was to graduate. I didn’t think about the day after graduation. I had friends who studied accounting to be accountants, or business to be business people, or marketing to do, well, marketing, or teaching to teach. And here I was getting a degree in American Studies and had no plan. When one of my sisters called me 2 months before I was set to graduate to invite me to move in with her in New York City after graduation I immediately said yes.

I moved to New York without a plan, except I envisioned myself being a famous actress. I saw myself on the red carpet, at fancy parties, and not worried about money. I saw the fun; I didn’t imagine the work. Acting did not pan out; I hadn’t ever actually studied acting and I was a terrible liar, so in hindsight, terrible plan.

I got behind a desk, planning conferences, by chance. And 20 years later, I worked hard enough and stuck to something I was both good at and passionate about, and I celebrate it.

In the middle of all that career building and making a name for myself, I stumbled into yoga. And as my passion for the practice grew, I found myself on a passenger train in India headed for an Ashram off a dirt road to deepen my knowledge, gain a new education and regroup.

After all this, I decided to start a business. I saw a need, had a good idea, and did something about it.

I wear two hats now, no, I wear 3. Wait… I actually can’t count how many I wear, but for the purpose of this article, I’m going to tell you about the 2 that are my yin and my yang hats.

On one hat, I am an employee who manages one of the largest conferences in the world, I am respected in my industry and have made both mentors and friends along the way. In this role, I’m fun, intimidating, always honest, hard working, empathetic, and I’ll take the heat and pass the praise. I love wearing this hat

There is a second hat, under this one I am an entrepreneur, I am a writer and I am a yoga teacher. I have students that have entrusted me with their bodies, their journeys, their truths, and their achievements. As an entrepreneur, I fear failure and success, I fear too much work, I fear losing even more sleep, I fear debt.

And finally, I am a writer. I love words, I love for people to be moved by what I have to say, I like to take people on journeys with me. I am passionate about my life, and I’m an open book. I sometimes cuss, but I’m kind. I like to share how life affects me and how I react.

I will not hide the fact that I’m proud of my success, my fear of failure and my struggle to be everywhere all at once when the only place I sometimes want to be is in my bed, sometimes alone, sometimes wishing I wasn’t.

All of these parts of me, the experiences, the connections, they make up who I am and what I stand for. I chose to share this story because my last article gained some attention from people in a negative way. Some people chose to see me using the F word in an article reflected poorly on who and what I represent and that’s maybe because they didn’t see the message, which is all I care to share, no matter what language, colorful or not that I use.

I don’t apologize for using it, but now I think you can see a little bit more about me. I am my yin to my yang because I see my opportunity to do something, share something, write something or teach something and I feel empathy, sympathy, sadness or pain if someone else feels hurt by my actions, my words, my story. In hindsight, somethings could have been worth an edit, but if it had been, how different would my story be?