Does this sound familiar? No matter what I ask my kiddo to do they scream and yell at me,  I don’t know what to do! I hear this a lot from the parent’s I work with so you’re not alone, not by a long shot.

I remember when one of my daycare parents came to pick up her daughter ( I ran  liscensed family daycare for over 15 years), and I noticed her procrastinating going home. I asked her why she was hanging around longer than usual, not that I minded the company after being on my own with 7 children all day. She started crying and said she just dreaded going home as her daughter did nothing but yell at her all night and she just couldn’t deal with it anymore. After a cup of tea and a chat this is what I told her.

The WHY- Why your kiddo is acting out at you is from one of two things, they’re either trying to get or avoid something, that’s the basic psychology behind it. Think about it for a minute, you ask them to put their screen down to do their homework- they argue and carry on to avoid doing their homework. How about this one your kiddo starts up about being hungry and when you ask them to wait they scream and flail about and you give in to have some peace and quiet.

The HOW- How can you stop the screaming, yelling and  tantruming so you don’t feel like bracing for a battle every time you ask your kids to do something.

1. Give you kids a heads up of what’s coming up next so they have time to menatally shift gears rather than you springing it on them and they blow a gasket. Think about how you’d feel if you were right in the middle of something you loved doing and you got told you had to stop it immediately, how would that feel?  I’d be pretty annoyed, so instead of saying do your homework/chore now try this, in 5 minutes I need you to start your homework/ do your chore, so finish up what you’re doing there.
2. Set the expectations of behaviour you want before you head out the door and the logical consequence if they choose otherwise. For example; we’re going to the grocery store and I expect you to be helpful, not ask for every treat you see and stay calm until we get home. If you do this you may pick one snack out  to have when we get home if you choose to misbehave no snack. This lets your child choose the outcome of the outing, takes the fight out of the situation and allows you to stay calm and in charge.
3. Let your kids have a say in what’s happening next, it allows them to have a voice as well as learn how to plan out their time. Try this next time, we have 45 min before xyz and you need to put your dirty clothes in the wash, pack your items for xyz and grab a snack to go. How long do you think this will take you? Which will take you the longest and still give you time to not be rushed? Your chances of an argument are nearly eliminated and if they don’t get their list of things done then the logical consequence of not going or being late and showing up unprepared or hungry.

Taking just a few moments to prepare and plan out how you’re going to approach your child will make a monumental difference between a fight and cooperation. Parenting isn’t easy however it can be simpler when we learn to be proactive in our approach to our children rather than reactive.

A Parenting Support Coach, more affectionately known as Auntie Corina, I help overwhelmed, frustrated, stressed out  entrepreneurs learn to nurture the needs of their children to build strong, understanding, respectful and mutually beneficial relationships while building successful businesses from home, using 30 years of experience, education and success stories in my tool belt.

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Want to work with me 1-2-1??

One weekly call: Map out what’s going on with your kids, fully understand their behaviour, stop the destructive pattern and have tools in place to get on the right track.  There are no silly questions – parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but I will give you as close to that as possible.

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Mom Guilt Videos Series: If you’re waiting for that bliss of parenthood that the media promises you, we need to ditch the mom guilt, get grounded in reality and set up your own expectations and pillars of parenting that will make you feel successful in parenthood and entrepreneurship.