It’s weird how much more inspired I am to write when under duress. Almost like the triggers that I have unlock a part of me that is hidden, and waiting to come out. Trauma and instinct are two things that I know too well, and try to keep at bay as much as possible. As we all know lately, that has been the opposite, and honestly is embarrassing, because that isn’t who I am. My weaknesses bubbling over to the surface, showing that I am a human being. There is two sides to me: the one you see in public and how I am behind closed doors. If you are part of my inner circle you have seen both, here I write about it from my point of view. Today for instance, I trained a new worker and I’m on autopilot, I don’t like to make mistakes, my goal is to bring out the best in people, even if I don’t see them frequently. It gives me a sense of accomplishment, rather than focusing on my failures of late. When people say to me, “ Taaury, I wish I could be like you”, I laugh it off because they have no idea what an enigma I am.

I am an open book, with folded pages, marking my steps in life. That inspires me to tell me story in the most eloquent way possible, not being afraid to share my darkest moments or the ones that bring me absolute joy. This week has been a reset for me, to really find myself again, something that has been slipping like sand through my fingers. Struggling to find my footing lately, well is exhausting, leaving me more confused and miserable. That’s not me as a person, its also the reverse of the message, that I share here. So I decided to do more things that make me happy: registered and completed a 100 hr meditation, another certification under my belt, challenge myself more with weight lifting and writing down everything that I need to accomplish in the next six months. Included in that is writing a book about all my experiences, both here and ones not shared yet. It semi autobiography, and inspiration, and since I’m not super famous, I will most likely self publish on Amazon.

My biggest feat of this week was being able to be on a Zoom call with Dave Hollis. In the beginning of all of this, I briefly mentioned how he and his now ex wife Rachel have inspired me. Hollis Co, has been the standard of how I feel inspiring and empowerment, go hand and hand. Dave wrote a book called “Get Out Of Your Own Way”, which is an amazing story of growth. It’s about his healing and coming back to who he was a person, much stronger than what he left. When he was speaking yesterday, he dropped so many gems. One in particular was that certain things need oxygen to succeed, like stress and darkness. To me that was the eye opener i needed, as an advocate for mental health himself, he spoke of the stigma and how it needs to cease to exist. To hear those words come from someone who is famous, yet still just like myself was important. You don’t truly realize that people often share the same struggles, no matter the lifestyle or income level. As he would say with his signature line: Let’s Go! Thank you to the Women’s Thrive and Shine Network and Shannan and Mindy, for an amazing experience that I will not forget.

As I’ve learned to pick up the pieces, I find that some no longer fit my landscape. I deserve better from life and from myself. By that I mean that anyone can talk about self discovery, but you also have to walk the walk, and talk the talk. Otherwise its just empty and hollow promises, and a form of gaslighting, which is the most toxic form of manipulation. Open your eyes to the possibilities out there, changing careers, ending a relationship or going out on your own. Remove the blindfold that is holding you back, and that includes yourself, strive to be more. The finish line isn’t that far away, when you put the work in during the first laps. Don’t let anything get in the way of your desires, the “ifs and buts” are just that, excuses and inconsequential. The right circumstances will find you, the career that you are seeking, step out of your comfort zone and interview for it, even if you don’t get it you gain the clarity needed for the next time. This is your wake up call: get yourself right, change your mindset and crush those obstacles. While the next steps in my life I’m keeping under wraps for now, know that I’m finally on the right track and have a clear vision of what I want and need out of life. The return of resilient Taaury is underway, and I can’t wait for the finished product. Remember the day we plant the seeds, isn’t the day we pick the fruit, allow yourself to blossom.

Take Care,

Taaury37