Of course, we can marry whoever we like.

So you can totally disregard this list and close this window right now.

And I’m not in any way making a fixed list that everyone who falls in love should follow.

Because the truth is, some people marry the right person. Others marry the wrong one. Some don’t marry at all, while others might marry more than once.

Whoever we choose, we all hope to end up with the right person—someone whose actions speak louder than words.

I got married last year, and I know in my heart that this man is right for me—not in the way we look together or make each other feel, but in the way we treat each other.

I can’t speak about the future because we all know how mysterious and uncertain it is (Hello, Gautama Buddha). I can only speak about now—and now, my husband is the right man for me.

I speak from personal experience, so even if your spouse is a woman, the actions I list below could be for anyone.

And, of course, each partnership has its own awe and magic, and I don’t need to tell you that we all love differently. So if your spouse doesn’t make you coffee in the morning, please don’t file for divorce. And hey, my husband is not perfect—I’m not either. We are just two imperfect beings making an imperfect relationship work within an imperfect world.

Note: this list is real as f*ck. Sorry, Jack and Rose.

Marry a man who washes the dishes so you could rest after a tiring day at work.

Marry a man who makes you coffee (Turkish coffee in my case) every single morning because he knows you suck at making yours.

Marry a man who makes you dinner and takes pride in it—even if it’s just sandwiches.

Marry a man who asks you, “Are you okay?” and “Do you want to talk about it?” when he feels you’re spaced out.

Marry a man who makes sure you’re hydrated and reminds you to drink water when you’re overwhelmed or busy.

Marry a man who speaks about you in public with pride and passion—and you wonder how he could see all the amazing traits you feel so insecure about.

Marry a man who wakes up with a smile on his face, looking at you while you’re still sleeping.

Marry a man who’s affectionate and finds joy in cuddling with you without you having to ask for it.

Marry a man who makes you feel beautiful even when you feel ugly.

Marry a man who’s not controlling or jealous—but who shows you he cares.

Marry a man who takes you out on a date night even when he feels like staying at home and watching Netflix—only because you feel like it.

Marry a man who takes fights as an opportunity for personal growth.

Marry a man who loves your family and friends. Not only because they’re lovable—because he knows how much they mean to you.

Marry a man who randomly tells you, “I love you.”

Marry a man who doesn’t move when you fall asleep on his chest only because he doesn’t want to wake you up.

Marry a man who reminds you to take your meds and actually brings them to you if he sees you sitting in a comfortable position.

Marry a man who trusts you enough to let you trim his beard.

Marry a man who doesn’t see a future without you.

Marry a man who makes you laugh and who is fun to be around.

Marry a man who gets the door when you’re sleeping because he knows you have insomnia and won’t be able to easily fall asleep again if you leave the bed.

Marry a man who puts up with your slow drive on the seaside road because he knows you sh*t your pants on the highway.

Marry a man who understands and enjoys your obsession with planting—even when you talk about your plants 24/7.

Marry a man who gives you nicknames—it’s fun.

Marry a man who laughs when you act goofy.

Marry a man who removes a wooden stick from your wedding dress.

Marry a man who makes you understand why it didn’t work out with any man in the past.

Trust me, marry this man. I did.

And he’s freaking awesome.

~