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When I was in my 20s, I had my first experience with a dead people medium.

My Nona, who had died 20 years prior, said in the session, “I want you to know I prayed wrong, out of worry and fear, and you do that too. Stop it. Instead, be more loving and faithful.”

I took it for what it was, thought about it for a long time, and it still sticks with me as one of the best pieces of advice I’ve received. I understood what she was trying to say: when we pray out of want, worry, fear, or “I need,” we put energy on the very thing we don’t want.

Lately, I have seen many comments, conversations, and social media shares around the pandemic and the vaccine.

I am not an anti-vaxxer, I am thankful for the place science has, and I am also not choosing the vaccine at this time.

After a lot of discussion with my doctor, we decided it isn’t right for my highly sensitive, underlying autoimmune body.

Now, I am going to digress here for a moment, but I am prefacing. I was in a recent conversation with someone about racism.

What does racism have to do with prayer and the vaccine? Bear with me.

This person said to me, “I don’t believe I am racist; I don’t see color, and by me choosing to see color, you are more divisive. Seeing color is racist, and I don’t want to do that.”

To which I replied something like, “I can see your point, and I disagree. Racism isn’t this new concept that came out of nowhere. It is old, with a lot of energy, trauma, and wrongdoing around it, and is a human rights issue. From my perspective, we have to see the shadow to transmute it to the light. And that starts by looking at it. We have to look at the darkness of the force.”

This person has taken a firm stance on their viewpoints and research regarding the vaccine and is on a hell or high water anti-vax campaign.

As if this conversation wasn’t complicated enough, I decided to probe a bit to that point. I asked how they could justify bashing health leaders who have made a reputable contribution and take such a strong stance on the vaccine, which is much newer energetically, yet not stand against racism.

Well, that didn’t go over well. I received no answer.

Not to my surprise, a couple of days later, a mutual friend called expressing concern and shared they felt judged over a controversial dinner conversation and said, “I mean, am I going crazy that I am just not seeing this?”

So it wasn’t just the over-the-top, unkind message—there were effects of gaslighting.

I am perplexed trying to understand how someone making such publicly loud and unkind statements couldn’t be bothered to even look at injustice, inequality, and systematic racism.

But then, learning about white privilege makes it more understandable. (We all have our unpacking to do.)

Let me be clear, I am not comparing racism and the vaccine. Not even possible. I am sharing the conversation to give a context of the controversy discussed.

I thought of my Nona and her advice that came in the mediumship reading, and her wisdom in death.

From my perspective and experience in subtle energy medicine, what we put out, we get back, and what we focus on grows (and grows, and grows, and grows some more).

I am an encourager of using voice, speaking the truth, and standing up for what we believe.

Yet I also always try to maintain kindness (not to be confused with being a “nice guy“) and do it in ways where we don’t energetically entangle or send out fear.

Everything is energy. Everything. Every thought, feeling, emotion, word, or comment. In any one moment, we are either untangling or entangling energy.

There is no in-between.

Just like we can’t physically speak the words love and fear simultaneously, we can’t be in love and fear at the same time.

We are either in one or the other.

Sometimes, we can be in love, and think we are acting in fear, and other times, we can be in fear yet believe we are acting in love. It can be disguised with all that feeds the ego and can be tricky to navigate.

I have created a list of symptoms of slower vibing, fear-based states that may help identify when we are in entangled energy, and quite possibly doing more harm than good:

1. We feel overly passionate or anxious.
2. We have worrisome thoughts that won’t dissipate.
3. We continually pass judgment on others (and feel good about that).
4. We get a boost or high from gossip.
5. We feel a sense of pride from putting others’ work or achievements down.
6. We physically feel areas of heaviness and tightness in our bodies when we speak about something we are passionate about.
7. We have a sense of urgency that makes us think, “I have to say this and get it out because I have an important message.”

To that last point, when we trust that messages of true importance and love will always come out, and we don’t need attention, credit, or accolades for being the ones to channel or deliver them, we are in love and untangling.

How do we know when we are acting out of love? I can only speak what is true for me. From my perspective, the following have been my experience:

1. We are ready and happy to observe and listen, and we want to hear what someone else is saying versus thinking about our next response.
2. We can easily admit when we are wrong.
3. We aren’t in a competition to get the last word in.
4. We have peace with where we are.
5. We feel a sense of neutrality, yet know what is right for us, and can honor what is right for someone else.
6. We can sense and feel our bodies in a state of calm no matter the conversation.
7. We trust and honor that every soul chooses to do what is right for them, and align with their body and karma.

When we live in love, we can appreciate that judging someone poorly for getting a vaccine, or saying negative things about them making a choice that is right for their body, sends out energetic cords.

At the same time, judging someone for making extreme comments and bashing others, does the same.

It’s all negative juju! And what we send out…boomerangs back.

So what’s the resolution? I can’t solve world peace, but I can promise that if we can all be just a bit more mindful of the above points, it will help take the energy off of in-tanglement and assist toward un-tanglement.

If we send thoughts, words, prayers, and comments that in-tangle in fear rather than un-tangle in love, we are a part of the fear-based entanglement we think we are against.

Let’s all be a little more mindful, a little more loving, and learn Nona’s lesson: stop praying and speaking from worry and fear. Start loving instead.

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