So many lessons here. I will try to boil it down to a few that I think are most relevant.

First and foremost, the awareness that there is almost always a disconnect – or blind spot if you prefer – between the message we send and how it’s received. Indeed, we often “hear what we want to hear” not what the sender intended to convey. Sometimes this is on account of our history. Maybe we have preconceived ideas about a subject, so we filter the sender’s message accordingly to fit our narrative. Or perhaps there are cultural differences that distort or cloud the message.

Secondly, it’s important to recognize the difference between superficial talk and real exchanges. Sometimes we gravitate to superficial talk when we should be having real conversations. Maybe we hide behind a text when we should be going face to face. Or, we repress our true feelings and withdraw and disconnect, when we should be engaging. We all know the consequences of this. Just look at the divorce rate in the U.S. and worldwide….that should give you a pretty good clue.

Thirdly, true authentic interpersonal communication and interaction can only occur when we have the courage to be vulnerable, without fear of repercussions and reprisals. That means putting it all out there: the good, the bad and the ugly with our partners. When we do that, we lay the groundwork for authentic exchanges which ultimately lead to deeper connections with the people that matter in our lives: family, friends, significant others, etc. Mind you, it’s not an easy thing to do. It’s often much easier – and perhaps more natural – to just play it safe and repress our true feelings. But when we can get past that state, that’s when true growth occurs.