Today, I wanted to memorize
the feel of your hands,
your arms,
the way your muscles move and bend
and your hands fold large over mine.
I wanted to memorize the lines of your body
how your T-shirt hugs your arms
how you hold and sip your morning coffee
how you eat when you’re past the point of hungry.

I wanted to memorize all of you
because maybe I’m afraid that one day
all I will have of you
is a memory.

Today, I wanted to memorize
the way you sleep.
Your mouth hangs open and your hair falls flat against your forehead.
I wanted to memorize the sound of your not-so-gentle snoring that annoyingly
keeps me up at night.
But then I smile,
thinking about how
this is the memory I’ll have of you someday.

Today, I wanted to memorize
how you stroke my hair when we’re watching a movie
how you tell me I’m beautiful after I’ve eaten a 16-inch pizza
and my belly feels bloated.
I wanted to memorize the way you make me feel
and remember that I can make myself feel this way, too.
After you’ve gone
because I’ve learned that self-confidence is something that needs to come from me.

I wanted to memorize the way you look at me.
Pause, and take me all in
hold my face between your two hands
as if you, too, are trying to memorize all of me.

Maybe one day we won’t be together.
But in these words will live our memories.

~