“Unrequited, meaning, not good enough for you.”

This was my previous conception of what unrequited love meant.

“I love you too, but I’m just not good for you.” Sounds familiar, right?

Common unrequited love phrase. Worthy of bookmarks, street art graffiti, Facebook heartbreaking posts…well, you get the picture.

It serves as a gateway to saying, I just don’t want to be with you, which we may argue, even if someone does say it like that, it still is a really sh*tty feeling. We look for honesty, but it just hurts anyway. We all love to hear exactly what we want, but it takes an unrequited love to understand that some things are just not meant to be.

You may feel as though you gave it all—the best friendship, the company in crucial moments, the family gatherings, the sleepovers, the friends in common, the shared hobbies, and the list just goes on and on. Even though all that worked beautifully inside my head, it just wasn’t the reality of this love.

Unrequited love is disguised, most of the time, by other situations.

For example, “I’m just not looking for a relationship right now,” “You’re too good for me,” “I’m f*cked up and you wouldn’t want to be with someone like me,” “I just don’t feel the same way you do.”

I analyzed every single excuse, and I still could not understand how, if there was huge chemistry, it still was not enough to get me what I wanted. Then I started carefully analyzing the hidden secrets. As it turns out, this person was actually showing me in different ways how we were not as compatible as I thought we were.

The say love trumps everything and makes you love the things you hated about someone. This may be true in some cases, but when we are blinded by love, we forget to look through the objective lens. The one that constantly shows you who this person really is.

Unrequited love sucks. It makes us learn the hard way, and most of us may suffer for a while just trying to understand it. The interesting thing about it is how it turns us into better people. Weird, right?

Unrequited love makes us doubt and overanalyze every single one of our flaws repeatedly kicking us while we are on the ground. It is through this journey that we may embrace the confidence of needing to pay more attention to our self-love.

Knowing that everything we do is for us and, in consequence, whoever wants a part of it will most certainly be welcome but not in charge.

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