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Love Beyond a Spark

When we were young, we never thought finding that special someone was going to be so hard.

It was like our hearts were convinced that even if we have standards, the right person will come along. I mean, how hard can it be? Isn’t everyone finding a partner?

Never did we expect to have so many options when it comes to meeting people, and still, some of us are unable to find the right person. Even though we come across so many individuals, we seldom feel that special connection, chemistry, and warmth with someone.

Sometimes we end up asking ourselves why we are unable to feel a spark with exceptional beings, not to mention how frustrating it is to start all over again and put ourselves out there.

The funny thing is, when we finally meet someone who makes our heart skip a beat, it ends up not working out for some irrational reason. But did we actually fall in love with the person or with the idea they might have created—based on a flare?

I know it’s difficult to find this special attraction, this feeling of warmth or even kindness, and we try to make the relationship succeed in spite of important issues we might be facing. Desperate to make it work, we convince ourselves that we can alter those issues, but finding this kind of passion is rare. We choose to stay for a feeling we cannot explain. We choose to invest time, energy, and love on a losing proposition, and we see that this investment is not paying off.

In the end, we ask ourselves: was the feeling worth all the hurt, uncertainty, and self-contempt?

We want to believe that this unexplainable feeling is the start of a passionate relationship, but how can we base that on a sentiment that might go away with time, when we don’t truly know the other person yet?

“Love is something that you consciously create every moment, every day.” ~ Tony Robbins

To truly find this passion we are longing for, we need to build it.

Indeed, it is essential to truly get to know one another—to know it all, the good and the bad.

To learn what the other person stands for, know their flaws, and jointly laugh about them.

To be excited about a future together and want to make plans.

To be selfless even in the smallest gestures as we sacrifice something of ourselves to make the other happy.

To be honest with each other and communicate freely even if it might be hard sometimes.

To have fun and enjoy each other’s company whether it’s being silly, affectionate, or simply a friend.

To inspire one another to be the best versions of ourselves—together!

So now we ask ourselves: are we making a well-informed decision by dismissing someone when we don’t instantly feel that indescribable feeling?

This illusion we are carrying around is affecting our perception of love and intimacy.

Every so often, we need to get out of our heads and take a chance on someone who might end up surprising us, or even sparkle our life.

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