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I didn’t set out to write a negative article, but here we are.  

I read a lot of inspirational quotes and life affirmations on social media. They’re about how we’re all “trying to do our best.”

Hell, I’m the one posting half of them. It’s nice to think we’re trying to learn life lessons and grow. It’s lovely to want to do better and be better.  And, yes, I think we’re getting there and we’re doing the work (most of the time), but the truth is, we all suck. We do. Let me explain. 

11 reasons we all suck:

1. I talk a big game when it comes to the environment and yet I’m not always careful with my recycling.

It’s one of the easiest changes to make, and yet I find myself tossing my yogurt cup (for example) right into the trash with nary a second thought. Okay, most of the time I have a second thought and I do retrieve it, rinse it out, and put it in the proper bin, but still, if I’m being brutally honest, sometimes I don’t.

Sometimes I bleach my bathtubs and my sinks and I watch those chemicals go straight down my drain, right into “somebody else’s problem.” I suck, I’ll admit it, but I know you’re doing small but bad things too, so therefore, we suck.  We can talk about the environment, but in order to be really helpful, we must do the small things that add up.  

2. Everything’s bugging me, but I act like I’m doing okay.

I don’t define and communicate my feelings in a direct way. I bottle them up and expect people to ask me what’s wrong, just so I can say “I’m fine” to avoid feeling any pain or doing any real work to change my circumstances because it’s all just “too hard.” This sucks. You do it too. We have to say what we mean and mean what we say if we want to solve or move past our problems.

3. I’m not spontaneous.

I want to socialize, but it’s always on my terms. Some may say, “Hell yeah, me too!” but still, this sucks. Saying no to create space for myself is one thing, but I must remember that others go out of their way to invite me to do things because they want to connect and have some fun. My life doesn’t have to be scheduled all the damn time. I like connection and fun, too, and it doesn’t always have to line up perfectly with a set plan. I need to stop pushing things out to “when I have time” or “when I really feel like it.” It sucks to say no too often.

4. I’ll admit I harbor a few grudges.

Those who have done me wrong have no place in my heart, but it requires a lot of energy to keep those gates closed. Sometimes living our best life means really letting go of those who do not serve our spirit; however, most of us don’t “let go.” We carry around the pain and negativity of the experience instead of leaving it behind. This sucks. Mostly, it sucks the life out of us, so it must stop.

5. “Happy Birthday!” we post to everyone under the sun on Facebook.

We barely know half the people we post our birthday messages to, let alone at all, but here we are sending our heartfelt birthday wishes. We only remember because of Facebook. This sucks because it often feels impersonal and meaningless. 

6. We don’t read much unless it’s a short piece of bullsh*t.

What the hell happened to us? I’ll tell you: we hopped on the suck train and rode our lazy, uninteresting, apathetic asses all the way to suck town because google made things way too easy for us.  You know I speak the truth. Those who don’t suck actually read more than Kim K’s latest Instagram post, which is why they can have an opinion about the world. We can do better! If writers are going to keep writing, readers must actually read, damn it.

7. We all want something for nothing. 

Karen’s son is a plumber. We think because we know Karen, perhaps Karen’s son (who is a plumber!) will give us a good deal. Let’s stop assuming tradespeople can slash their prices just because we know them, sort of, on some level. Admitting we do this is the first step toward not doing it, and therefore, not sucking. 

8. We are not on time.

Sure it happens, once in a while, and this is completely forgivable. However, if our habit is to keep others waiting and waiting and waiting (and waiting) as if their time isn’t valuable, the clear message that they are not that important to us comes across loud and clear. It doesn’t matter if we text to say we’re running late. Let’s just stop being late. 

9. We aren’t doctors or therapists, yet every time our friends have issues, we become armchair quarterbacks calling all the plays.

“You should do this; you need to do that!” we cry, as our own lives crumble and burn around us. We have all the answers, it seems, when it comes to everyone else. This sucks!

10. We do our errands looking like crap, then we complain when we see someone.

“Oh, I don’t usually go out of the house like this!” we exclaim, embarrassed. Yeah, we do.  

11. We talk on the phone loudly in public for all to hear.

Meaningless conversations that can’t wait for a quiet moment alone, apparently, must be conducted within earshot of everyone (in the store, online, in the lobby). Actually, this is one thing I don’t do—but there are millions who do and I’m throwing this on the list because it straight up sucks. Seriously.

We’re all human, and no one is perfect. The human way is to be a little sucky but then work on it to make it better. Change is messy and uncomfortable, and self-reflection can be painful, but we can do it if we try.

I’m gonna try.

~