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A few years ago, a man came into my life.

I suppose you could say we collided, and from that moment on, my life was forever changed.

The timing was not right, for where we each were in our lives. We were so different, yet it was like we were on this trajectory, and no matter what was thrown in front of us, we were both going to land together.

You see, I believe, the universe was at play and regardless of our differences, when our energies came together, it was destined. It was meant to happen. It was an explosion of two vibrations, two souls, who found a home within each other—if only for a moment.

I’ve reflected, or rather ruminated, upon this relationship and the way it almost broke me, many times over the past year, and I recently came to a startling realisation: the universe sends you what you need through each stage of your life. There is always a reason.

Sometimes these people are meant to be in our lives forever. Sometimes these people will only stay for a season. What I have learnt is there are always blessings and lessons and despite some of the harshest of lessons, these people are definitely connected to us on a soul level.

These can be excruciatingly painful lessons, but if we are able to think outside of ourselves and look at how the universe works, maybe, just maybe, we can see a far bigger picture. We may start to understand that life is not always as it seems, and the smallest of changes can sometimes amount to the most significant of changes.

Maybe these are some of the reasons the universe sends certain people into our lives:

We are as we should be: if we are in the right space, being the best versions of ourselves, the universe will reward us. When it knows the good we are trying to achieve and the improvements we are trying to make on our path, we become more aligned with the universe and therefore the more we will be rewarded.

We need to learn a lesson: sometimes we repeat the same mistakes. When we struggle to learn a lesson, the universe will send us someone to make it easier for us to learn that lesson. This can be both a good and bad thing. This person may bring us a love, passion, and intensity we’ve not known, and when that is taken away, it can leave us devastated, desolate, broken. Nobody wants to experience such pain, but the lessons that come from that move us toward a far better and wiser version of ourselves.

We need help with growth: when we need to grow, the universe will bring us together with someone who we can grow with. We may grow together for long time; we may grow together for all but the briefest of moments. Regardless, this person will have a profound impact on our lives, who we are, and who we become.

We need help with healing: we all have wounds. We all have an inner child who desperately wants to heal. Whether from past trauma, a broken heart, lost connections. We all need some form of healing. Sometimes we need someone to remind us how to love ourselves. Sometimes we need someone to wake us up from whatever slumber we are in. And sometimes even if these people hurt us, they have awakened something in us that sets us on a journey of healing.

We need help with boundaries: sometimes we give of ourselves so much that we become a doormat. We fear saying no and establishing boundaries, so the universe sends us someone to completely f*ck up our world. They lift us up and throw us down; they tear us up and break us in ways we cannot even imagine. They set us on fire; at the same time, we are drowning. Whilst it’s a brutal lesson, we come out forever changed and we learn what we will no longer tolerate. We learn how to establish boundaries.

I believe the universe sends us the people we need. The man I collided with allowed me to feel an incredible love. He released something in me that had long been asleep: my womanly essence, my inner goddess. He woke me up.

He also f*cking shattered my heart; he left me stumbling to regain my balance, teetering on the edge of a cliff of despair. But I now understand that even though we can experience anguished pain, it doesn’t mean we weren’t meant to collide.

We collided because I needed to learn lessons. We collided because I needed to learn how to establish boundaries. We collided because I needed to grow. And we collided because I needed to be triggered to dig deep and dance with my shadows—I needed to heal.

It happened as it was meant to. Our souls were meant to connect on a level deep enough to crack us both open.

I believe we collided so that I could finally grow into the woman I was meant to be. A woman who knows she still has so much to learn, who knows she still has so many things to discover on her journey, who knows growth comes when she steps outside her comfort zone, who knows painful lessons can sometimes be our greatest blessings.

A grateful woman who now stands in her power with a newfound wisdom.

Universe, I am open, I surrender, and I trust that whatever is to come next will be far greater than what has come before.

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