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“Whether it’s science or magic, if it’s of fun benefit, enjoy!” ~ ed

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“Shadow work is the path of the heart warrior.” ~ Carl Jung

We all have a shadow.

We all have hidden parts of ourselves that we don’t always see or want to see.

Famous psychologist, Carl Jung, dubbed these hidden, subconscious parts of self, the “shadow.”

The shadow doesn’t have to be the “bad” or negative parts of self per se, but rather the parts of self that don’t have a proper expression of consciousness to flow.

These can be our blind spots. Our weak points. Our vulnerable points, even. Our fears—especially those.

Many of us spend our whole lives actively trying to outrun or avoid our fears. Our fear of death, or the unknown, is a big one for our egoic minds who can’t possibly handle this uncertainty without crumbling and cracking.

We all have an Ego: the part of self we feel secure in knowing who and what they are, what makes them tick, what identity they feel set in, and also what fears feel overwhelmingly intense for them to face.

So many of us spend our lives avoiding fears—avoiding the mini and bigger deaths of self or trying to—but we can’t outrun the aging process or the loss of a loved one. It becomes a cat and mouse game that we never win. We just end up full of more fear, anxiety, and a running list of things to control.

So, what’s the alternative? Perhaps, we can make peace with our shadow parts by coming face to face with our fears and vulnerabilities.

We can lean into the spacious presence of the consciousness behind the mask or fret of Ego. This is the deeper, more courageous surrender back into trust and peace. Most of us are desperately clinging to habits, patterns, and control mechanisms to find a fleeting and false sense of peace.

Astrologically speaking, we all have been navigating more shadowy terrain lately.

For the greater part of July, we have been immersed in the healing, but oftentimes heavier waters of Cancer energy. The mother, the family unit, the ancestral patterns, the lineages we come from, the energies and karmas we carry have come here to release and heal.

We have been undergoing a time of inner and outer purging of the emotional waters—of clearing out the stagnation of the old—of the past (Cancer) energies that have kept us looping in worry, fear, and attachment. This is the shadow side of Cancer.

The light side of Cancer is the ability to alchemize fear back into love, compassion, and unconditional regard for this vast landscape of human experience.

If you exist in the Northern hemisphere, July has set off a pandemonium of social events for the heat of summer. The flurry of activity made for a full social calendar for us more introverted folk. Many of us went on trips and adventures, soaking up those fun, summer vibes. Cancer is the energy of water, which needs a clear channel to move through in order to not build up with debris.

We are now coming toward the end of Cancer season, and the sun will be moving into the sign of Leo on July 23.

As the sun is the ruler of Leo, it feels naturally at home in the fire sign, represented by the lion. Elementally speaking, we are moving from water into fire. Transitioning from a time of deep, emotional reflection, more sensitive-feeling, old pangs of the past surfacing, and being catapulted into the fiery zest, inspired action, forward-moving energy of Leo.

On this same day, we will have a full moon landing at one degree of Aquarius at 10:37 p.m. EDT.

Aquarius is an air sign but is known as the “water-bearer.” Aquarius is ruled by the planet Uranus, the planet of innovation, change, rebellion, and sometimes, chaos. This will be the first of the two Aquarius full moons, and the second will be landing next month on August 22.

Aquarius is inherently tied to the collective: to the community, to the global community at large, to humanity, to our inherent part of this global network.

Leo is tied to the individual, to the self, to the Ego.

As with all full moons, the sun and the moon are opposing each other, creating an energetic conversation, which can often be felt as duality. We are all being asked and invited to explore these energies. To get to know the shadow-self that perhaps might be driving our choices.

Are we moving and acting from a place of thinking about our fellow humans? Or are our choices being driven by the Ego looking out for me, myself, and I?

We can’t answer this question for anyone but ourselves, of course. And the answer may not always be one we want to face. Throughout the last few weeks, I have been diving headfirst into the shadow (myself) after, of course, trying to skirt around it.

Two days ago, I tested positive for COVID-19. I speak of this because I know using our voice (and not hiding away in shame) is how we heal—in community (Aquarius), not in isolation of self (Leo). And, yet, COVID is inherently an isolating-from-clan illness. It is one I am living, left to reflect upon choices and decisions made, left to question my own internal judgment, and look at any shadows driving my behaviors that might be lurking below the surface.

It has set off a ricochet of events in my own life that I did not anticipate prior to this illness. My Ego has been ping-ponging back and forth trying, desperately, to control the outcome of a still unknown event—one I am navigating daily.

I speak of this personal experience because it speaks to this full moon. Aquarius, ruled by Uranus, can certainly illuminate and ignite some unexpected, unforeseen events in our lives. This doesn’t mean we need to be on the lookout for the other shoe to drop; it could very well be a positive, unforeseen event. But, as Aquarius is tied to the collective, we may be tapping into the collective shadow of the self (Leo) and of the collective (Aquarius).

We are, perhaps, seeing how inherently tied to others we are. Yes, we are individuals. But, we are also tied to our fellow humanity. Our actions and choices do affect others as much as they affect ourselves. The energy we send out does most certainly come back in some way, shape, or form.

Truly, if we harm others, we harm ourselves and vice versa.

If we are putting out the energy of fear or lack, in some way, this energy has to have an energetic reciprocal (karma). It’s the inherent law of the universe. It is not meant to punish us, but to show us the energy or resonant state we are emitting.

And, yes, that can feel brutal to see and experience. We are seeing the shadow of the self, the selfishness we can act upon, the greed, the fear, the attachments to a false sense of security. This is the shadow. The only way to start to integrate it is to see it fully. To not meet our shadow with more fear and judgment, but with loving awareness and spacious presence.

Only then, can we make a different, more honoring choice. We are seeing how to not only move beyond these shadow behaviors by first accepting them fully, but then what do we want to create consciously moving forward?

The energy of this full moon is asking us to break free and move beyond our fears. To step fully into the fears themselves and hold ourselves with a greater loving presence there. With Chiron, the Wounded Healer and asteroid, now retrograde in the sign of Aries since July 15 and staying retrograde until December 19, we are being asked to meet our wounds and vulnerabilities head-on. No more running. No more hiding. To stand tall with our hearts open to these parts of self who felt they had no prior choice until now but to run and hide away in the shadows.

We are being asked to heal with our hearts wide open on an even deeper, more profound level of self-integration and awareness. No Band-Aid will do anymore; it keeps ripping off anyways. Chiron retrograde is here to initiate us even deeper into the path of the Wounded Healer we are, the one who is fully capable of turning wounds of self into medicine for the collective.

Is it going to be easy? Hell, no.

Possible? Yes, if we can face our wounds and fears with great courage and strength. We all have made mistakes and made choices out of selfishness or fear. That doesn’t make us evil—it makes us human.

This full moon has ample space for us to heal and release. To step more fully into who we are becoming by letting go of the heavy weight. But in order to let it go, we must feel it fully. Be like the water-bearer herself and bear the emotional weight of all that’s brought us to this point.

It doesn’t mean we need to carry it indefinitely (for the sake of our families or tribe) or let it weigh us down anymore, but we do need to take responsibility for what we came here to heal and alchemize.

To heal it, we must keep feeling it.

With the sun in Leo, ruled by the heart, we are encouraged to return to this heart space, where only then can our fears (and the fears of the collective) be alchemized. We can offer this shadow energy back up to the light of Spirit, to the universe, back to Source, back to love.

Fear is truly just the absence of love, after all.

Take the time and space for yourself; to tune into what is coming up for you for this full moon.

Ask for grace and forgiveness to hold you. Call on love to remind you. Bring more light into the shadow.

Keep trusting your way forward, step by brave, courageous step.

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More on this full moon: Aquarius Full Moon: 2 Things to Remember, 2 Things to Do & 1 Ritual to Help. {July 23}

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