In the music video and lyrics for “When I Grow Up”, the third single from NF’s upcoming album, The Search, NF (Nathan Feuerstein) explores his childhood dream of becoming a rapper. He shows it wasn’t easy for him to get where he is now.
His video starts with children answering what they want to be when they grow up. Responses range from “I want to be a dentist” to “I want to be a police officer.” A young Nathan, or Nate, tells the room:
“When I grow up, I’m gonna be a rapper.”
While the other kids said “I want to be . . .”, Nate asserted his dream. He knew he was going to be a rapper and had faith in himself from the beginning. But not everyone else did.
The video then jumps to NF Merchandise as a garbage man as he starts to rap his meticulous lyrics. The entire song is NF’s younger perspective, so he discusses his purpose and doubt from those around him. Verse one mentions this quickly:
Yeah, when I grow up, you know what I wanna be?
Take a seat, let me tell you my ridiculous dreams
I wanna rap, yeah, I know it’s hard to believe
And I can tell you’re already thinkin’ I will never succeed
NF sets the scene about his rapping dream, knowing that most people view it as “ridiculous” and doubt his success. However, he doesn’t need doubters’ support when he has his own as he continues in the verse:
But I’m okay with it, I admit the lyrics are weak
I’ve been workin’ on ’em, I’ll be good eventually
I understand you gotta crawl before you get to your feet
But I been running for a while, they ain’t ready for me
Like most success stories, time is necessary to “make it.” NF realizes rapping will take a lot of hard work. Since he’s been “running for a while”, NF also believes he’s on the brink of something great. At the root of it, rapping is his dream, not others:
And honestly, I might not ever make a difference
But that don’t make a difference, I’ma have to risk it
Fueled by passion, NF obviously chose this different and difficult route of making music. He chose to follow his dream:
I could go to college, get in debt like everybody else
Graduate and prolly get a job that doesn’t pay the bills
That don’t make a lot of sense to me . . .
In the music video, he switches from a garbage man to a janitor, symbolizing the attempt to make a living while simultaneously working at music. NF also introduces the chorus in his janitor outfit:
When I grow up, I just want to pay my bills
Rappin’ about the way I feel (Oh, yeah)
I just want to make a couple mil’
Leave it to the fam in the will (Oh, yeah)
I just want to sign a record deal
Maybe buy a house up in the hills (Oh, yeah)
Might not be the best in my field
But I guarantee that I’ma die real
When I grow up
NF’s younger self wants to work doing what he loves and become successful for his family. He also knows that he isn’t the best in the music industry, but he’s proud of the real music he creates. Nate will leave nothing unsaid and be completely honest in his raps, so he’ll die with no regrets and being “real.”
Immediately after the chorus, NF now is a fast food worker for his last despised job of the video. Verse two focuses on the doubt and negative energy surrounding the eager NF:
Those of you that don’t believe, quiet, you don’t know a thing . . .
I just feel like no one really gets me and it’s sad to see
’Cause someday I’ma grow up and show all of you it’s meant to be
NF is determined to make his dream a reality as a standout with his unique and different sound among musicians. Not everyone will understand his purposeful songs, but that’s because they don’t understand NF. It seems he encountered this often when trying to get known locally:
Anybody wanna hear me rap? “No”
C’mon, let me play a couple tracks, “No”
C’mon, I can spit it really fast, “No”
You think I should throw this in the trash? “No”
Tricked ya; haters, go away before I hit ya
I am not a beggar or a kiss-up
He asks his fast food restaurant coworkers if they’d give his music a listen, but they like many didn’t want to give NF a chance. He quickly learns not to get sucked down by the negative energy and rid the haters from his life. The frustration from these jobs and not breaking through as a rapper escalates that NF lashes out a customer in the music video. It’s evident he so badly wants to move to the next stage of his life.
Nate still closes out the verse with the positive commitment that he feels called to follow this dream. He’s not a quitter, especially considering he’s been professionally driving at music since 2010. He lets his fantasies run as he imagines what it’d be like to be a successful artist, getting to that next stage:
I am not a quitter
You ain’t really think that, did ya?
Maybe someday I could even be up on the radio
Have a tour bus and maybe even play a couple shows
Everybody in the crowd singing every word I wrote
Tellin’ me that I am not the only one that feels alone . . .
Will I ever make it as an artist? I don’t really know
Might not make a lot of dough
I’ma have to try it, though
Finally, we see Nate performing as he wraps up the song with the chorus. Yet, he’s only singing to a two-person audience. He still gives it his all, energetically dancing around to the beat. Once the beat drops, though, the music video in a chilling scene shows the thousands of fans that now attend NF’s concert. They sing along to every word, just as he had hoped one day would happen.
NF looks to have made his dream come true. He had the vision and faith to act on one of his greatest passions, giving him a life he’s always wanted. As he said, it was meant to be.
It was right of NF to follow his dream of being a rapper, just like it’s right for everyone to follow their own “ridiculous” dream. But NF proves we need to believe in ourselves first.
My words don’t do its justice for the incredible song. Watch the music video for yourself to see the care and excitement NF Merch puts into a story. Maybe you won’t be able to stop watching it just like me.
NF’s fourth-studio album, The Search, is additionally set to release on July 26th. If it’s anything like the album’s singles so far (“WHY”, “The Search”, and “When I Grow Up”), NF will keep increasing his success in the music industry while inspiring all those who listen.
“It’s not about what people think, it’s how you feel inside.
My biggest failures in life are knowing I never tried.” — NF, “Remember This”
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