How many of us have phobias (an irrational fear that usually comes from a specific event or “thing”)?  I know I did. Mine were spiders.

Phobias may be irrational, but the distress feels very real; Could our conscious and subconscious fears be related? After all, a phobia is a conscious reaction that comes from something hidden in our subconscious; they have been linked to traumas, past life’s, experiences, genetics, learned behavior, and such.

There are so many phobias, but because they seem or are classified as “irrational” we usually do not try to rationalize them and instead we just react. While that might be our survival instincts protecting us, do we ever wonder if it is another coping mechanism of our subconscious?

I found the answer to what my subconscious was afraid of in what I was consciously most afraid off, spiders.

I wish I had known sooner; it would have saved me a lot of embarrassing moments; like 10 years ago when I had recently started to set and be true to my healthy boundaries, and in my first date with my now husband he opened the car door for me and there it was, the tiniest, almost invisible little spider and of course, I went into full panic mode and ended up hunched in a corner of my driveway swinging back and forth. Great story for the grandkids.

When I was little, spiders would intrigue me more than they would scare me, but as I grew older it became a phobia. Since they are everywhere, to me the only reasonable thing to do was to study my “enemy”.

If you have an irrational fear or phobia like me or know someone who does, you might want to keep reading. I mean, who knows? it might work like it did with me, what do we have to lose, right? Get your notepad and pen ready, this is going to be good.

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Know the enemy: Understanding our phobias and fears.

Our “enemies” hurt us through our fears so to know our enemy, we need to understand what and why are we afraid of.

• Step 1: What are we afraid of? be honest about it, no one is going to know, what is it? A cotton ball, snakes, a brick? Whatever it is, be honest.
• Step 2: What does it represents? We must do some research; find out what it means and have represented thru ought history. Look at pictures and check for similarities, its traits, abilities, everything; no need to over complicate, a quick online search will suffice; it really is that simple, but we must do a bit of research.

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When I allowed myself to question my own phobia, I understood that I was afraid of using my power to build the life that I wanted. Up until that moment, I was letting everybody else weave my world.  That was my most toxic coping mechanism. I had adapted myself to release my personal power because I felt I had none.

Growing up I would always feel powerless and unheard, and apparently, it stuck. Although extremely traumatizing and toxic, I got use to giving my power away; my logic? if I was the one giving it, then it was no longer being taken by force, oppression, or imposition.

Enter these little critters with an important lesson: I had to take back my power and weave my world.

Spiders are weavers of their world. They weave an intricate pattern that allows them to feel everything that enters their web almost instantly and they do not get stuck in their creation. Their personal world answers to their needs. They attack if they feel threaten otherwise, they are peaceful. They protect their world and are ready to rebuild if need arises.

We can learn from spiders that our uniqueness, our abilities, and our purpose is what gives us true power over our lives, and so we must accept them to truly release our fears or not be paralyzed by them.

We weave with our actions, and our capacity to create our own world is far reaching if we follow our needs without harming others. But the most important lesson they carry is that adversity does not erase our needs and it usually creates new ones; if new needs arise, to rebuild is a must.

Our conscious fears may hold the answers to what our subconscious is afraid of, whether it be a spider or a brick, with a little research we might be able to release and overcome what we fear the most and weave the world that we desire.

To understand our fears and the reason behind them helps us in the healing process and we start to manifest our future in true alignment with our purpose, it also helps us release self-doubt, past traumas, deep-rooted fears, and self-imposed limitations.

I overcame my phobia, and although I might not be ready to hold a spider in my hands just yet, I am no longer paralyzed by them, and I even name them.

I have also taken my power and my life back.