To all the women out there who are finding themselves in the midst of another painful breakup.

You are in a fetal position and have never experienced this amount of pain in your life.

It feels like your heart has been ripped out. And in that moment of feeling like everything has been taken away from you, you think: here I am again. Another failed relationship. How many times will I get fully invested and then have it fail?

You start out in this amazing relationship and everything is magical. You think you have found the one. Your heart sings and you begin to make plans for the future. But then things don’t work out according to your plan. The relationship ends and you are left in a puddle of tears and sadness.

This is crushing you. How many times does this have to happen?

You think, I’m already in my late 30s, what will my friends and family think? There must be something wrong with me.

It makes you think you will never recover, or worse, never find love again.

It makes you think that you were not enough.

Not pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, rich enough.

I have talked to so many women who are stuck in a relationship that has ended, whether it ended years ago or just a few months ago.

They’re wishing that their man would come around again, changed.

If only he did this…

If only he acted this way…

If only I wasn’t so…

Now I am 30-something and back to being single again.

I thought my life was set.

Oh, the regrets and the longing.

But what if this breakup happened for you?

What if we can bring the light to the dark side of breakups? Instead of a breakup being a deep downward spiral into a bleak abyss, internalizing it and making us wrong and worthless for it, or allowing it to close us off from love forever, what if it can be like this instead?

What if the breakup launches you into a full discovery of yourself and you become the best version of you?

What if you recover with confidence, feel empowered around men, radiate love, and not feel stressed or pressured about it? What if you could feel and be magnetic to new love?

What would it feel like if you just let go and allow what was supposed to show up to show up?

You will then create the space for magic to happen.

You will create space for new love to come in.

You will create space for money and abundance to flow in.

You will have the motivation and energy to go after the job or new career you want.

Your sense of self-worth will increase so you can attract the right partner, and take chances at work and with new relationships—friendships or romantic ones.

You will feel comfortable in your own skin so you don’t need a relationship to feel loved. But you will want to call in a healthy relationship because you want a partner in your life to add to what is already there and not to fill the loneliness.

You will have fulfillment on all levels and participate in life again.

This is not to say we should bypass the grief that comes with breakups. But instead of making it mean you are unlovable, use the breakup as an opportunity to shine light on the parts of you that want to be revealed. The parts that may have been hidden in the previous relationship that were not allowed to thrive. The parts of you that weren’t given love as a child but desperately need that now.

A new relationship isn’t the answer. Getting back with the ex isn’t the answer. You are the answer to turning heartache into a breakthrough that you never saw coming.

If you find yourself in the midst of a breakup, my heart goes out to you. What you are feeling right now won’t be forever. This is a stepping stone to a new version of you that has been waiting to emerge. Embrace the journey and who you are becoming. You are blooming into something really beautiful.

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