When I watch the newscasts that describe the events of January 6th, I toggle back and forth between outrage and fear. When I see the videos and photos, I see all these people swarming the grounds and Capitol building. They bought a lie, lock, stock, and barrel and were willing to murder to pledge allegiance, not to a flag or the Constitution but to a man who has proven time and time and time again that he is not worthy of loyalty.

What occurred to me was that if he thought he was in any danger, the former president would have hidden in his bunker as he was alleged to have done a little more than a year ago during the protests in the face of the murder of George Floyd.

The fact that, instead, he was hanging out in the White House, seemingly delighted at the show that was playing out on the world stage, tells me that he knew his supporters wouldn’t dare attack him. How could they since he invited them to rumble?

If I could see into the minds of those who huddled under desks, donning gas masks, frantically calling family members as if it were the last time they might speak with them, likely praying for their lives, I wonder what thoughts they are now holding.

I wonder how they can look the Capitol Police in the eye after voting not to impeach the host of the shindig and voting not to form the committee that will certainly uncover the truth.

What is the truth they fear?

We know that there were some who were alleged to have given tours the day before for the purpose of reconnaissance. When I watched the events unfolding, one of my initial thoughts was that it was an inside job since they seemed to know where they were going. It was too easy.

I watched, with tears in my eyes, the assaults on police officers.

One on Officer Hodges, crushed in a door, one on Officer Fanone, wrestled to the ground with his protective gear stripped off of him and his gun nearly taken from him, with the cry, “Let’s kill him with his own gun.”

What stopped the onslaught was that he called out that he had children. Hearing that, some ferried him out of harm’s way. As he was interviewed, he said his response was a combination of thank you and f*ck you—understandable.

One officer, Officer Sicknick, met his end when murdered with a fire extinguisher.

These were the people who protected them, along with Officer Eugene Goodman, who led assailants away from the Senate chambers, and within moments of encountering Vice President Mike Pence.

Officer Fanone was present when those he put his life on the line to protect voted in a way that was a slap in the face as clearly as was the assault on the day when he nearly died.

I wonder, as well, if they are afraid of their constituents if they stand up for the truth. Not just their votes, but their safety.

If they voted in favor of the commission, would these same people single them out for the execution they had planned for Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi?

By turning a blind eye, they are complicit.

Their refusal to vote for the commission is a horrific betrayal to the Constitution, the officers, and the National Guard, who prevented the outcome from being tragically far worse.

It is a betrayal to the country. It is a betrayal to their colleagues. It is a betrayal of their oath of office.

The thing is, they know the truth. They lived it—but can they live with themselves?

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