As parents, we tend to focus on “separation anxiety” from the child’s point of view. However, what if this type of anxiety is felt by the parent instead?

It’s a real thing for me, the more my son grows, the more anxious I become when he is not with me.   Every morning, my heart sings with pride when I see him so happy on his way to school in his pristine uniform and with his Cars satchel on his back. Yet, as soon as he enters school, I hear the familiar voice of anxiety muttering in my head.

I used to think that separation anxiety would diminish in time, but guess what? Although Zac is almost 4 now, my heart still breaks a little every time I leave him.   Things became even harder when he used to incling to me and cry his heart out “I love you mummy. I want to stay with you”.

This unexpected behaviour became a daily struggle for a while.  Previously, he had never cried when I used to drop him at school or at his grandparents. Even though I knew that he enjoys his time doing his activities away from me, this drama used to leave me distressed for the whole day ahead.

Dealing with it

This anxiety almost made me lose my common sense. For a while, I had a yearning to stop sending him to his Summer Club, even though I paid good money for it. But would that have been the right decision to make? Eventually, after a few weeks he stopped making a fuss and today he goes to the Club with a big smile on his face.

Undoubtedly, Zac is very attached to me and his dad.  He melts my heart when he kisses both our hands and says “I love you mummy. I love you, daddy”.

Well, I always knew parenting would be the hardest job in the world, and I suddenly realised that trying to make the best decisions for my son is part of the package.  In all honesty, I sometimes find it hard to decide for myself, let alone for my son.  But all this has taught me something; the best way to make important decisions is by disengaging my heart and do what I think it is best for him and for his future. As his mother, it is my duty to teach him to face his challenges and not escape from them, even at this tender age.

Getting on with it

I know my son will get over his separation anxiety in time like he always has. But I am pretty sure that mine is here to stay despite my best efforts to control it. The voice in my head will never go away. I will fret over my son for the rest of my life, even when he becomes a big strong man with a family of his own.  He is my one and only after all.