(1965) Blues by Big Mama Thornton – Hound Dog and Down Home Shakedown with Lightning Hopkins and others on harmonica

Brought tears to my eyes seeing how competent and dominant she was at that Blues Festival. How I long to be a big woman of influence like her! Big black women are appreciated it seems. Not white ones. We are social misfits. And I don’t cry anymore since my brain surgery, so I must have been severely affected. Tears gathered in my eyes, just like at my parents funerals. No actual tears running down my cheeks.

I lost 50 pounds last year but have regained half again. It’s a roller coaster. My clothes are tight now. I have retired my size 14, and now wear 16. This is hard on me. I feel bad as I get the effects from tight clothes. Not sure why. But I was recently feeling pain in that left calf muscle from buying and wearing new shoes. I’m not at my best, and therefore teary right now.

Had an apple for breakfast because there was no bread for toast. I’m trying to stay on the raw fruits and vegetables and protein diet. But I love carbs so much! I went without carbs for almost two years, starting on November 27 of 2019. I kept a diary of everything I ate for that whole time. Lost 50 pounds that way. Even fit into size 14 loosely! But I backslided. After we moved into this new house, and the deadline for weight-loss was over.

I wanted to start my new life at Wychbury Ave. in December 2020 in a thinner body. And I did. But now it’s almost as bad as ever. I started out just over 200 pounds and am now about 185. Seems like hard work to lose the weight again, for the second time! Oh well, get back up on the horse. I’m fighting the effects of taking an atypical antipsychotic Rispiradone, which increases appetite.

And I plan to carry myself like Big Mama Thornton until I get down to 155. With pride and style. I’ll wear my pillbox hat this winter. I will think of myself as an attractive woman. My new attitude.

My Realistic Diet for Life

One piece of toast or muffin

Raw fruit and vegetables

Meat and fish

Cheese and eggs

Juice, one cup

Weekly cauliflower crust pizza, or a quesadilla, bagel or croissant.

Monthly chocolate bar or ice cream.

Yearly cake or pie or box of chocolates.

Monthly three day “fasts” where I only eat one meal a day. For the last three days of the month. Starting in October of 2021.