What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror? Do you see someone who is content, bitter, or full of jealousy and envy? I want to address the issue of jealousy and envy. What is jealousy and why do you envy people around you. I want to start by reading the book of James 3 vs 16″ wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there is disorder and everything that is evil and in the book of James 1 vs 4, it says “what is the source of conflict among you? What is the source of your disputes? Don’t they come from your cravings that are at war in your own lives, you long for something you don’t have, so you commit murder. You are jealous of something you can’t get, so you struggle and fight. You don’t have because you don’t ask, you ask and don’t have because you ask with evil intentions, to waste it on your cravings. This bible verses are self-explanatory and shed so much light on the causes of jealousy and envy. When you are struggling with jealousy and envy, you need to check your life and deal with yourself first. We can not stop thought coming to our hearts, but we can hold them captive. The book of 2corinthians 10 vs 3-6 says we should capture every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Once your obedience is complete, we are ready to punish any disobedience.

Nobody is immune to the thought that comes into your mind, but you are responsible for the one you are allowed to stay with, and you even acted on it. You have to know how to submit your thought to the Lord. You will be shocked by some thoughts that will come to your heart. Jealousy will ruin your relationship, it will turn you into a bitter and irritable, and violent person if you allow it to take over your life, some even go to the extent of committing murder all because of jealousy and envy. It can consume you if you don’t hold your thought to the obedience of Christ. Have you ever wonder why Saul will leave his throne and be chasing after David in the bush. It all started in the book of 1 Samuel 18 vs 6 when David came back from killing the philistine, When the troop returned home, the women are so excited and they started to sing in celebration of David, it started when they point out that Saul has killed his thousands, but David has killed his tens of thousands. Wow! Did you pay attention to that song, Saul burned with anger, how can this woman ridiculed him in that song, and at that moment he allowed the jealousy to entered. Imagine someone is sharing a testimony in the church about how a sister or brother prayed with her and God answered her and everyone was thanking God for the life of this saint and the pastor got angry because he felt threatened just like Saul. David never intend the women to welcome him with all this song, he did what the king said to him to do, just like you prayed for someone because the pastor asked you to and you get in trouble because of the testimony. Don’t let us forget that the glory belongs to God and he will not share his glory with anyone.

The thought that came to Saul was the fear of losing the throne to David and he will go to any length to stop him. Have you ever felt like that when they are saying so many nice things about someone you worked with, or your sibling? Have you ever found it hard to like a person because others are singing their praise? How do you feel when someone is sharing their testimony? Do you ever wonder why you don’t click like on your social network because someone is doing better than you? Do you find it difficult to give compliments? How do you feel if the attention is not on you? Do you love the attention so bad because you always need someone to applause you to make you feel better, you see Saul had an issue of low self-esteem and it doesn’t matter that he is the king, he will always think everyone is a threat to him, if you are not secure in your calling or in your field of career, you can be a victim like Saul, even if you are the CEO of a company or a pastor, you will be threatened with the gift around you.

David was serving under Saul, no matter what David will accomplish he is not the king, the jealousy consumed him so bad that he lost sight of his purpose and he left his throne chasing David and he eventually lost everything. I have seen many pastors trying to oppressed people with gifts under them because of insecurity like Saul that led to jealousy. If not for the grace of God, Saul would have killed David. Jealousy will make you kill someone physically or killed someone’s dream spiritually. The evil spirit from God came over Saul after he allowed the evil thought against David (1 Samuel 18 vs 10) he started to planed how to set David up and killed him because he was afraid of David because God is with him. If you continue to read that passage, Saul removed David from serving and demoted him, does that sound familiar?

My husband always says there are many Saul still sitting on the throne in our churches, God has left them, but nobody can see the sign and they are killing many gifts and talent in their churches. There are many instances in the bible to warn us. If you read the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis 37
Joseph was the 11th son of Jacob, and Joseph’s half-brothers were jealous of him. Do you know why? It was because of the father, Jacob did not hide the fact that he loved Jacob because he was the son of his old age and the first child of his beloved wife, Rachel. The bible says the brothers hated him because they can see how the father favor him all the time and he even made a special coat of many colors for him, and now on top of all that, Joseph now shared his dream with them, not just any dream, but the fact that they will bow down to him. The jealousy grew and they planned to kill him. Parents do not destroy your family by showing favoritism. My children always ask me who is my favorite among them and my answer is always l love all of you the same way, but l have a favorite every other day, depending on how you look after me and we all laughed. How can you share your dream with someone that hated you already, it’s like putting pepper in the eyes. It happened to me too, l shared my vision with someone that l did not know she was jealous of me and l make everything worst, but how will l know, she is someone l loved and respect and that taught me a serious lesson of life.

You don’t go around boasting and sharing your dream with everyone. The fact that you have a purpose can trigger jealousy in someone’s heart against you and it doesn’t matter if they are your family as you can see in the case of Joseph. You have to be sensitive and be very careful how you shared your vision and who you shared it with. I remember years ago l have a friend that was not married at the time and l was so careful the way l talk about my marriage with her. I am being cautious of her feeling and her position at the time and l don’t want to rub it in her face. I know she is genuinely happy for me, but she is human and it will not be fair to expose her heart to jealousy and envy. Sometimes we get carried away just like Joseph and we are not conscious of the people’s feelings towards us. Joseph underestimated the extent his brother can go to stop him. Can you imagine the thought in his heart while he was by himself in the holes and when he was sold to Ishmaelite traders and knowing fully well your so-called brothers did this to you.? I can’t imagine the pain in his heart.

The pain of betrayal from people you love and you thought they love you too can be unbearable. One thing you need to know is that nobody wants to be a slave if they are given a choice. If someone is respecting you, most time it’s because of what they can get from you, you will only know your true friend if you have nothing to offer them.
I remember sometimes ago l watched a comedy where a maid thought he won a lottery with a lot of money, he immediately showed his true identity by abusing his boss and all the children. He basically tell them everything he was keeping in his heart because he thought l don’t need you anymore. There is a saying in my country that says “you can never know the true identity of a poor person until they have money.
Sometimes you shared so many intimate stories between you and your partner with your friend that your friend will do everything to sleep with your partner to enjoy what you are talking about. We can be so careless in our talk and our action. There is so many lessons we can learn from the life of David and Saul and Joseph.

Practical actions
-Be content
-Be real with yourself about your -feeling. Learn to question your jealousy every time it emerges.
You might find it difficult to admit that you are having negative feelings and you might want to blame them on another. Always talk about your feeling and learn to laugh at yourself. The more you talk about it, the more it loses its hold on you.
-Write down memories that may have brought these feelings e.g. Your past experience or low self-esteem, unworthy of love because you had a neglectful parent, or heartbroken from your last relationship
Always ask yourself the motives behind your action
-Learn to love yourself, if you don’t love yourself, you will always believe someone is better than you and you want to be like them and you can never be original and that can lead to envy and jealousy.
-stop comparing yourself with other people, you have a lot of “If ” in your life e.g if l looked like she looks l will be happy or if l had a beautiful house and a sports car, then l will be happy or if l have more money or if l am married with children. Be grateful for who you are and what you have now. God knows what you can handle.

Above all this, always submit your thought to God and pray to him to help you because most time we are helpless and we need supernatural strength and power from above to deal with the challenges of life and finally remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. You are much happier when you are yourself. Always encourage yourself in the Lord. Learn to be happy for others. What you make happen for others, God will make it happen for you. You are original, never settled for second best. God went to great lengths to make sure each of us is original, you should not feel bad because of your personality, tastes, hobbies. Some people are timid and some are outgoing. Some love to wear suits and ties and dress up, some prefer blue jeans and shirt, some of us love to shout, jump and dance to praise God, other worship in a more subdued manner but guess what? God loves it all! God loves variety. Be the best you can be, and you can feel good about yourself and accept yourself, faults and all. God loves you for who you are, but he loves you too much to let you live a life of defeat and continue to sin. Trust him with your life after all he is your creator.