What is masculinity?

I think that I would rather begin with what it is not.

Masculinity is not a prohibitive concept. It is not a list of things one must not do, nor ways one must not be. It is, by definition, the qualities and attributes that are characteristic of men. It is a tone and a point of view. It is a flavor and a shade for all the wide spectrum of humanity. Masculinity is expansive, not confining. It is inclusive and encompassing.

It is masculine to be strong, and brave, and resolute. And it is just as masculine to falter, and to fail. It is masculine to be weak. To be hurt, and lost, and frightened. It is as masculine to be broken as it is to be steadfast and resilient.

It is masculine to care, and to care for others. It is masculine to ask for help when you need it, and to offer it when you can. It is masculine to be hurt and sad; to grieve as to rejoice.

It is masculine to mourn.

It is as masculine to mother your children as it is to father them. It is masculine to love them deeply, kindly, fiercely and proudly. It is as masculine to teach them to cook or dance as to throw a ball or build a home. It is masculine to tell them over and over again that who they are – whomever that may be – is good, and wonderful, and worthy.

It is masculine to be soft, and kind.

It is as masculine to love another man as it is to love anyone, and to tell them, openly and often.

It is masculine to weep and cry. To be hurt. To comfort and be comforted. It is masculine to sing, and shout, and laugh.

To be masculine is to be and do all the things that are the vast and limitless universe of humanity as a man. To choose what that is, and means, for you, and to let no one tell you otherwise.