Safety and vulnerability – these are two things that concern most of us women greatly, right? Let’s talk about safety – and we mean more than holding your keys between your fingers when walking to your car at night. We want to talk about feeling safe in ourselves and with our sisters. For us, as women, to feel comfortable to open up, to be vulnerable and create a better sisterhood, we need to feel safe.

Sounds simple, right? Well, yes … and no.

Vulnerability is the art of staying open, and it is a uniquely potent female quality – really, it’s another one of our superpowers. We want to encourage you, through your journaling and your connections with other women, to take note of the things that allow you to stay vulnerable. Small things that help us stay open might be regular yoga, flowers, nature, walking, meditation, deep breathing, and baths. And chocolate? Maybe? Always chocolate …

Safety is about feeling calm, Queenly, centred and able to respond. It’s about engaging and moving from our parasympathetic nervous system of rest and digest.

One of the things that can divert us as women from feeling safe is something encouraged by society to push us into fight or flight, which is our sympathetic nervous system – that means getting motivated through fear or negative emotions from a place of panic.

Although negative emotions make us fight to find a safe place, this is detrimental to creating long-term safety as we are tipped into constant fight or flight and carry that in our bodies.

While it’s good to be fierce and assert our Pussy Power when we need to, positive emotions and the reaffirming of those positive emotions are the only ones that will stand the test of time. For example …

Imagine an overweight woman who spends her life dieting because she feels ugly and chonky, or because her doctor warned her of a specific health risk. She then decides to instead love her luscious, voluptuous body and start caring for herself by eating well and exercising as a form of self-care, rather than to lose weight to be a certain size or because her doctor has scared her into it. This will be sustainable, because she is loving on herself, rather than acting from a place of fear!

By moving from a place of calm – in this example, the idea of looking after your body because you want to feel good – rather than a place of fear or competition, we’re able to feel safe and make lasting change. Everyone is looking for that sense of calm and momentum, that feeling of being enough, which comes from feeling safe.

Once we have connected to that cosy safe place, we are ready to start with:

Forming a Sisterhood.

Sisterhood and Safety go hand in hand and creating our inner and outer safety needs to be something we practice diligently and daily. 

And this should be with people we choose, like-minded sisters who will support us in feeling safe.

One step at a time.

Give and Ask for Respect. Care. Love. Pleasure.

Moving forward, we are learning to ask for pleasure, respect and fairness in all areas of our lives (love relationships, friendships, work). This begins with feeling and creating a safe space that is conducive to this in our personal lives, starting with our personal relationships. The relationship first to ourselves. The relationship then with the close sisters around us. Creating the nourishing, caring relationships and sharing all our stuff – bright, beautiful, and the ugly cry. The swampy ‘gotta get it out’ moments and the vulnerable ‘I feel hurt’ moments.

And what if we encounter a sinister sister … you know the type I mean … the mean girls!

We can show respect, care and love for every single woman we have in front of us, although their mood is their responsibility. Even if they are being rude, cold, harsh, or downright bitchy, we know that those signs of pain are nothing personal – they’re coming from a place of fear.

Before walking away, we can respond with true kindness and know that whatever response we get is nothing to do with us … but we have an opportunity, and the ability to respond to the pain we witness in a way that is conducive to Sisterhood and helping them feel safe. We as women are all in this together, and the more we practice showing up in this way, the quicker the shift will come for us all.

That gesture of kindness will open up the possibility of a new and positive way of interacting and connecting. And even if that woman in front of us responds differently than we’d hope, we’ve planted the seed and practised showing compassion, which we can then give to other women in our lives – and hopefully, that woman will eventually learn from the experience and do the same.

Remember, Lady Queens, we are in this together – so let’s create safe space for each other to share our vulnerability!

Stay connected, juicy, and playful, and we’ll see you next time.