Sometimes we choose to heal in public so that no trauma survivor ever feels alone and so that those healing in private can keep going!

After seeing the hit Netflix show Maid by Molly Smith Metzler inspired by the novel and true story of Stephanie Land and BBC limited series I May Destroy You by Emmy award winning Michaela Cole.

I think it’s more vital than ever to believe and support survivors.

I have always been an advocate for Survivors and was asked to collaborate with WWILD, BRISSC, Northside Connect and Tide Productions to film/direct this video to help end ignorance, educate and spread awareness  https://youtu.be/hDghIofQibw – please support Survivors by SHARING this link so it can go VIRAL.

“The first person a survivor tells and whether they are believed or not – directly impacts/affects the trajectory of that survivor’s life/healing/recovery.”

WE can all do BETTER and it STARTS by acknowledging the elephant in the room and by BELIEVING!

3 simple words can save a life “I Believe you”

So to all the traumatized and brave souls suffering in silence and healing in private out there – You got this and I f*cking believe you and acknowledge the elephant in the room!

The truth is sadly more f*cked up and stranger than fiction…you might think that something is far-fetched but unfortunately that’s just someone else’s f*cked up daily reality…you’ve just been privileged, overprotected, sheltered or fortunate enough to not experience/understand it (or buried, ignored, blocked, dissociated or compartmentalized your own trauma to survive).

“Seek to understand before you seek to be understood” Stephen R. Covey and as Brené Brown says “In order to empathize with someone’s experience, you must be willing to believe them as they see it & not how you imagine their experience to be”

HEALTHY healing

(As opposed to unhealthy healing; sex, drugs, alcohol and suicide)

is hard WORK, messy and non-linear. It’s really dark, confronting and uncomfortable to sit with emotions (as Inside Out taught us all emotions are valid and serve a purpose) instead of deflecting, dissociating, distracting from them.

Unpacking that exploded uncompartmentalized suitcase of emotional-baggage and choosing what to pack or leave behind is mature but uncomfortable and confronting your demons to say the least.

So why do you do it?

Why do you choose to be proactive about your mental health instead of just escaping through unhealthy vices because you don’t like your current reality?

Because as Oprah from The Me You Can’t See says “there is nothing wrong with you, there is something wrong with what happened to you”… and that is called trauma.

Unfortunately there is no Rehab for Survivors (at least not when I looked – let me know if you discover otherwise)

So you need to create your own wellness retreat to reset and lick your wounds, settle your nervous system and be proactive about your mental and physical health.

The definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result”

Thus, if you don’t like your reality, change it!

“Surviving is different from being a victim, so if you don’t want to be a victim anymore, you need to learn to survive… and surviving comes from anger and fear together, that’s what that is” Anonymous Survivor from Start by Believing.

Be scared and do it anyway, push through that uncomfortable feeling of commitment phobia or whatever your fear is because the best things are on the other side of fear! “On the precipice of fear, true greatness is achieved”

So that you can reset, grow, evolve, heal, so that you can become the BEST version of yourself, so that you can protect the younger version of yourself (inner innocent child) living in survival mode and forgive the versions of selves that came before you; they did the best they could with the information they had at the time. As Maya Angelou says “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better. Do better”

So that you don’t project your unresolved trauma onto others, so that you can believe and accept other people’s realities, so that you can acknowledge the pink elephant in the room, so that you can break the silence, so that you can be the generational cycle breaker, so that you can hold people accountable, so that you can unlearn and challenge negative beliefs/schemas/conditioning from childhood, so that you process, reprocess and desensitize yourself from past trauma, so that you can “step into your lava” as Meg LeFauve says and vulnerability, so that you can choose love not fear in all that you do, so that you can be your most unapologetic, authentic and genuine true self, so that you can rediscover your purpose in life and get one step closer to your personal legend, so that you can rebuild your islands of personality, so that you rebuild your self-worth and self-respect, so that you recondition yourself with positive and helpful beliefs, so that you have the strength to walk away from anything, any beliefs, any job, any relationship or anyone that no longer serves you, makes you smile or happy, so that you can be emotionally not just intellectually intelligent and teach others the importance of emotional intelligence (and not be scared of their emotions/instead label and validate their feelings), so that you can be comfortable in your own skin and accepted, empowered and celebrated for who you are, so that you can get your spark back and not let anyone ever try to steal or dull your shine (no one is you and that is your power – those who still operate from the ego are threatened by those of us unapologetically embodying our true authentic selves), so that you can discover your love language, so that you can communicate effectively honestly and transparently, so that you can develop secure, loving and healthy attachments/soul ties and safe and intimate relationships that you are worthy of and deserve (as opposed to trauma bonds, toxic relationships, addictive affairs, unhealthy soul ties and fearful-avoidant attachments), so that you can be the voice for the silenced/muzzled, so that you can smash and trauma-inform the archaic patriarchy and justice system, so that you can educate ignorance, so that you can preach and practice equality and isocracy, so that you can HEAL and STAY for your future selves that you’ll become, so that you work smart not just hard, stay humble, never forget those who helped you get to the top and always give back and pay it forward when you make it and get there ❤️

All story is transformation and all drama is the human condition. “Writing the truth of our collective pain, can inspire empathy, which is the path towards connection and healing” Our Lady J.

The dark night of the soul always comes before the awakening and transformation. Real awakenings are messy and real transformations from unconsciousness into raised the consciousness are divine.

Be the reason people believe in magic, in blessings and restore their faith in good humanity and divinity  – be the good thing to happen to other people – be the person, teacher, mentor, protector, wizard, advocator or adult you needed as a child, survivor or warrior for someone else! ✨