How beautiful it is to stay silent when someone expects you to be enraged from them. And how beautiful it is to laugh when someone thinks you are going to shed tears. (unknown – Arabic).

A great many of us view the above adage as taking the high road, interpreting it as a positive and empowering stance. Yet, by looking at it more closely, we can begin to see that it is far from it. Like many quotes of its kind, there is aggression behind its alleged positive message. And although this writer may have had good intentions, proposing we rise above being affected by others, the message is retaliatory and misdirected. It is the low road. The revengeful laugh is nothing short of a royal, although implied, f*#k you. And the “don’t show ‘em you’re bothered” aspiration (as to not give our offender the satisfaction of upsetting us) encourages a denial of our true feelings. Talking ourselves into thinking we are not bothered, when underneath the pretense we are hurt and angry, is nothing less than a suggestion to suppress and conceal our emotions.

To demonstrate my point, I have printed the original quote and a rewrite below (with respect to the original author).

Original: How beautiful it is to stay silent when someone expects you to be enraged from them. And how beautiful it is to laugh when someone thinks you are going to shed tears.

Rewrite: How beautiful it is to stay silent, serene, and understanding, when we expect ourselves to be enraged. And how beautiful it is to breathe deeply and walk away without wishing anyone harm.

As we can see, aggression comes in many disguises. If we want peace in our lives and in the world, we must heighten our awareness. If we want to experience joy and love, we must put forth the effort, let go of anger, and stop the cycle of aggression—both in our actions and in our hearts.