Before I answer that question, I need to give you a bit of my background story: It didn’t just happen that I live life like I do. Whether you are conscious of it or not, you create the life you live and you have the power to change it.

(Comment: I’m aware that I’m speaking from a ‘privileged’ point of view, a privilege you share if you come from a developed country, have access to education, food and a roof over your head, simply put.)

I had no one to model this kind of life. I grew up in a monocultural, conservative, security-seeking and anxious environment. I was pressed into a mould, and expected to follow that ONE correct path.

It took a lot of rebelling, de-conditioning, re-learning, confusion, self-inquiry, therapy, practice and pain to get from there to here. It wasn’t the easy path.

I’m also not claiming to have it all figured out. But I know for sure that in the last 10 years or so I have lived a life that is MINE, that feels truly authentic.

So how to create a life by design? You have to really get to know yourself in order to know what you want. That’s the work only you can do. In a nutshell: You have to become clear on your values, your priorities and your non-negotiables. You have to let go of things, beliefs, people… You need to develop unshakable trust in yourself and trust in life in general. You need to look fear in the eye and do it anyways.

Here are a few reflective questions to get you started on creating your life by design:

What are my core values?

What are my non-negotiables? What’s important and what am I not willing to live without?

What do I know for sure?

What do I want to let go of?

How do I want to feel?

How do I want to spend my days?

First you need to get clear on the WHAT, then you figure out the HOW. Remember: YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW THE WHOLE PATH, YOU ONLY NEED TO KNOW THE NEXT STEP(S)! After this reflection, take action asap. Start with ONE small step.