In our unawakened state, we are all just patterns running around on autopilot, projecting our childhood wounds on each other and experiencing life as challenging and unfulfilling.

Until the defining moment that snaps us out of our own victimhood and sets us on the path of self-discovery.

We all crave connection, love, and intimacy and have been seeking them our entire lives outside of ourselves because of how we are conditioned. But no one has ever told us that the connection and the relationship to ourselves is the foundation of every relationship and circumstance.

We only arrive at this point when we finally have had enough of dancing with our pain and unresolved issues that we are forced to go within and build a relationship with ourselves.

Our unresolved childhood wounds and subconscious beliefs are so deeply embedded that until we face them head-on, they remain a source for attracting others who are a vibrational match and mirror to us what is going on within. The deeper the connection, the deeper these issues will be prominent. Blame, insecurity, and trust issues rise to the surface as an outward projection to deflect from really addressing what is going on within.

I always attracted men who were incapable of loving me as I perceived it. This was my childhood story playing out over and over again. I needed to overcome this and finally prove my worth. I had become that story—I identified with it—so it became my reality.

I was literally manifesting my outer experience based on my subconscious beliefs about myself that I was unaware of. But that was not who I truly was. It was just a story—a state of being—and it was not who I was or my perception of anyone else.

We are the universe experiencing itself through a specific lens.

What we observe in our reality is what we are creating through our programmed beliefs and identity. Think of it like a movie being projected outward where we are the producer, the director, and the main character. The storyline is being created through our own internal storyline.

So in order to change our relationships outside of ourselves, we only have one job: to change our own self-concept and let go of the attachment to our identity.

We are not our thoughts; we are not our identity.

We are infinite and can become, do, or have anything we want by releasing the labels and beliefs we have about ourselves.

There are many labels we put on others and ourselves, such as avoidant, anxious, narcissist, and if we find ourselves identifying with any of these, then we are boxing ourselves into that identity. Just because someone may have labelled us as that in the past doesn’t mean that it is who we are! Never let the outside world define who you are.

The most powerful relationship is the one we have with ourselves—no one can validate who we are but ourselves. Whatever we believe about ourselves is what others will reflect back to us. The mirror is always playing out our internal belief system to validate our beliefs. So can we reprogram our beliefs to change our entire perspective of ourselves and others? Yes, we can.

When I stopped needing outside validation and began seeing myself as worthy, confident, and chosen, I started enjoying a healthy and flourishing relationship with an equal partner who is present, open, and loving.

It really is all within my own mind.

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