“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity “- Dorothy Parker

The holidays have always been a triggering event for me for numerous reasons. For some like myself, it brings up memories of trauma & pain from childhood while reminding us of what we’re missing out on when we compare ourselves to other people.

One of the best pieces of advice ever given to me by a therapist was to “Stay Curious”. That was it. Simple, effective, and a message I can always fall back on when situations in my life, especially related to other people’s behavior, is seemingly inexplicable. So instead of reacting to situations that I deem unacceptable, I try to examine the incident like a crime scene. Who was at fault, if anyone? Was there a breakdown in communication or did wires get crossed that merely need to be sussed out? More importantly, where do I fit into this equation?

More times than not when I am able to effectively communicate in a direct and non aggressive way I find that other people’s behavior has little to do with me, if anything. That something I may have said in jest might have triggered something unfixed within another person. That maybe there is a space within that person where they are imprisoned by trauma. A secret hell where images of the past are played back to back in an unending horror show of hurt. After all hurt people hurt people and so on infinitum.

Therefore self care this Holiday Season is a necessity rather than a luxury.

Be well always

#selfcare #selflove #holidays #dbt #cbt #therapy