I use to be all over the place in my relationships, never fully happy with the partner I had. but also terrified of being single. I could fall in love with someone with a powerful enough gaze, as soon as the daydreams took over. Why do we idolize strangers so much? What are we reflecting on to them?

I guess I was reflecting my perfect partner onto these strangers, and imagining them as the ideal partner. All of the shortcomings I had would be taken up by this other person and then I would finally belong in a happy relationship and we could start living our lives and adventuring together.

One day I had a realization, that the perfect partner might not be out there, and if they were they might want me to be already established as a solid, confident person. Once I realized that I needed to become this partner that I was seeking, for myself, then I began doing the things that sparked joy in my life.

I started practicing yoga more frequently, going on adventures by myself, sometimes with friends. I wasn’t waiting around for anyone. This life is meant to be lived unapologetically. Whatever or whomever you are bringing with you, even just yourself, get out there and live it, find what lights your fire.

Be the person you dream that your ideal partner would be.

After I started living like that my love life changed completely.

Because I now could fulfill these desires myself and had the confidence and patience to wait, my dream partner found me along the way.

Off we sailed into the sunset.

I have not imagined her to be something she is not, like those strangers I used to so easily fall in love with, I love her for what she is, and that is a much more genuine feeling of love than before.

Happy alone or together, we try not to hold expectations of each other, as that can lead to resentment. We are two people savouring the moment together, whatever it may be.