In a red truck with the headlights on,

as the snow airbrushes the sky in still surrender;

my contemplations take over and I’m swept into a vortex of wonder.

It’s been over half an incredible year with you and in quiet times like this when I can hear the breath in my chest;

I can feel myself slipping into the familiar tunnel of patterned beliefs and insecurities,

waves of deep rooted fear paired with icy chills that make my fingers cold to the touch;

A little girl surfaces into my vision;

my sweet, delicate inner child.

I can feel her,

I can sense her, alone and afraid – an imprint from her childhood.

And all that little girl wants to do is run.

She wants to run as far away as she can without looking back.

She wants to lock her tender red heart away in a treasure chest and cast it out into her ocean of fear.

“All the other men left me.” I hear a thought in my mind that I believe to be true.

“Hmm.” I sit in awareness. “My abandonment scar runs deep and wide.”

“So what if he’s the same?” My little girl calls out to me in the dark corner of

my heart.

“But darling what if he isn’t?” Emerges my deep, devoted Divine Feminine;

“That’s even scarier.” She whispers.