Are you the go-to friend and family member who helps with…anything and everything? Are you the one that people always rely on? Are you the one who has to hold it all together, so everyone else can be okay?
If so, I bet others love this about you, but I am sure it also becomes incredibly draining at times.There may be a part of you who enjoys to be the one everyone can count on, but step back and ask yourself:
- Are others showing up for you equally?
- How are you at receiving and asking for help?
- Are you over-identifying as the caretaker for others?
- Have you made it your responsibility to be there for everyone around you?
- Are you setting and enforcing healthy boundaries for yourself?
- Do others respect your time and space?
- By playing this role, does it allow you to show up completely and authentically?
- Is this possibly a way to avoid making yourself vulnerable and admitting that you also need help sometimes?
- Is there some piece of this that connects to a lack of self worth?
If you don’t address this, it can start to feel like you’re attracting takers, feeling depleted and as a result, you may grow resentful of others. You may find yourself in relationships that lack reciprocity. You may be giving everything at work and not receiving credit where it’s due, or it may be that friends are always looking for support, but never there when you need it.
It is important to understand why you might be finding yourself in these patterns by asking introspective questions and taking an honest look at yourself. Then, you can find healthy solutions to set boundaries and to become comfortable with a new standard for yourself — to allow more space for reciprocal relationships, time for yourself, the ability to say no, etc.
It’s not necessarily easy to do this, but it is so worth it, and it will improve all areas of your life!
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