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Warning: well-deserved naughty language ahead!
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It was an instant wave of emotion and catharsis.
This G-spot orgasm that was a firecracker in my vagina, followed by the jolt of energy moving up my navel and exploding in my heart. This shot of lightening was so strong that my ribs felt like they were splintering as the heart grew, a nut being cracked open and raw flesh exposed.
With this came waves of grief, anger, betrayal, and sadness.
With this came a torrent of tears.
“Can you talk to me,” my lover said.
“No,” I replied.
I knew I needed to let this be more than the mind, more than language, more than the need to process and therapize.
It was a holy moment.
It was a full-on ancient body experience.
Sexual connection was once the primordial way humans, women especially, alchemized the harshness of life on planet Earth and compressed it into a diamond energy that became life-giving instead of life-destroying.
A way of exorcising the demons that was based in the ecstatic instead of the need to purge or cleanse.
Fuck the crazy out, as I like to say. Meaning that the euphoric wave of orgasm was so much more than “pleasure,” but actually the sacred chrysalis for the deepest cellular, alchemical, and emotional change.
For moments like this hold the eternal, inherent magick of the body and sex as a transmutational portal, which is what sex was always meant to be.
In the old times, before patriarchy, pornography, and pussy shame, the vagina was revered as the gateway to a dimension of Goddess.
The Yoni in Tantra and ancient Hindu, the Sheela na gig in Pagan or European tribes, which some scholars believe is what the modern valentine heart is modelled after, and the reverence for all that was feminine, sensual, and female in First Nation cultures around the world are actually the true heritage of all women (and men).
When I watch shows like “Vikings,” “Barbarians,” and even “Outlander,” I feel this keening for a time when the body, sex, and the earth were all mingled in the sacred experience of being a woman, and a natural and sacred part of culture.
When sex was not a shameful or giddy thing or something to check off a list to ensure you are a healthy couple, but rather a delicious, ecstatic, and powerful experience—a moment of the sacred within the body, with another human. How much more sacred can this life get?
We have largely forgotten, at least at the mind level, but our body remembers.
Our body remembers the time when sex was not pornographic and was more than “pleasure,” but was a chance to remember our greatness, goodness, and truth. It was a chance to fuck the crazy out—the crazy of our own addictions, false beliefs, and, of course, the inherent brutality and betrayals of life.
Fuck the crazy out of me and help me remember and know the power, creativity, and alluring Shakti/Goddess energy that I am.
To access this, a woman must be wanting and willing to be open, and to be taken. To surrender the walls, shame, and fear.
Her lover must be someone who can be fully in the space of adoration and leadership, and also have some good technique. This is when the G-spot is accessed, and not only will orgasm happen, but with it the transmutational power of a deep, dark, heart-opening portal where the past can be overridden by the potency of universal expansion.
Again, it’s like getting the crazy fucked right out of you.
No level of therapy, no plant medicine, no yoga will ever take you to the place of personal release, transformation, and freedom that sex like this will.
For me, in that moment, the last vestiges of sadness, grief, and anger from the last two years of a global plague, and all the changes it brought, rose up and through my vagina—up the channel that connects this power center through the body to the heart. It was alchemized.
The mind does not even need to be involved. The body holds dark Earth, diamond-making power.
This is the ancient art of Body Magick, or Sex Magick, and it has the power to change you and your life—if you let it.
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