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I didn’t celebrate Earth Day.

I was too busy being a 21st-century human. Too busy feeling physically and spiritually ill inside of my brick-and-mortar home, blocked from Earth’s frequencies, encased in a box of wifi, eyes glued to my electronics.

I love Earth Day. I get so excited it lights me up until I glow from the inside out and happy dance. It’s the only day that reminds us to appreciate what’s been given to us. Every year, I remind everyone to hug a tree and plant another. Stop and smell the flowers. Stand in a flowing stream. Marvel at the beauty around you. Remember we’re not the only beings on Earth. Get out of our heads and onto the ground. Look up and feel the joyous, healing energy that calls to us every day, but is only remembered on Earth day.

This year, I didn’t celebrate Earth day. It was a sting and a blessing. Intense disappointment reminded me of my immense appreciation. An appreciation that extends beyond the conditioning of the human collective.

I wanted to shout every truth about Mother Earth from rooftops. I wanted to proclaim the importance of our appreciation and respect. But I had to get past myself. In doing so, I remembered that even the concept of our celebration on this day was a collective aesthetic. And my rebellious spirit reminded me yet again of who I used to be.

That I lived Earth Day. I hugged trees every day, especially when I was anxious. I smiled at the sun and meditated on the happiness molecules it gave me. I smelled flowers every time I passed them. My heart ached at the sight of empty buildings, polluted cities, mutilated animals, and destroyed habitats.

Not celebrating Earth Day reminded me of who I am at my core—a child of the earth who believes humans have great potential to ruin and are proving it. As I lay on my couch, I remembered that I, too, have become engulfed by human self-importance. I’ve become lost in the shuffle of impressions, bills, new age survival, quick and easy resources, and keeping up with the Joneses. We are not the only beings on this planet who have the right to appreciate and live as our originated molecules intended.

I rest into my depleted self, wishing I could capture that photo of me and my tree, talking to my plants, soaking up the sun, breathing in the wind, and hoping to spot another creature doing the same.

My ego was torn down and my soul reappeared. In this way, I felt punished, and reminded, by not celebrating Earth Day, I remembered to celebrate it every day. To be the nature-loving creature I was born to be. To return to this part of myself again and again. To disconnect from the downward spiral that has become human evolution.

While awareness is wonderful, and I hope it never ends, I’m grateful to have missed out on the hype. My ensuing emptiness and disappointment reminded me why the pause and recognition is worth more than just a day. It’s about remembering I wish to be that person every day. To be what I wish to see—an eco-friendly supporter that is not blind-sighted by the easily-absorbed convenience of technology and a brain and soul-washed system of fear-mongering, avoidance, and enslavement.

With that, I leave you with my favorite humbling quotes that run through my mind and through my mouth more than one day a year:

Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed. ~  Gandhi

When the last tree has been cut down, the last fish caught, the last river poisoned, only then will we realize that one cannot eat money. ~ Native American proverb