This article is written in partnership with Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough. They’re dedicated to busting the myth of sexual incompatibility and helping humans own their pleasure and learn how to speak the language of their orgasmic desires—we’re honored to work with them. ~ ed.

“It’s like you’re not even listening to me!”

We all know those moments: we’re trying to communicate with someone, but it feels like they’re literally speaking a different language.

It can be frustrating and demoralizing (to say the least), no matter the type of relationship or interaction.

If we take that same language barrier into the bedroom, it can get especially painful (emotionally—maybe even physically).

You see, without a language “bridge,” we can often feel ashamed, rejected, and starving in the pleasure department. We might even think we’re “broken” or “weird” or “wrong” in some way.

The result? We get stuck in our heads, feel unsure, and our sex lives suffer–we suffer.

Luckily, the language of sexuality is one that somatic sexologist Jaiya and her partner Ian Ferguson speak fluently and have spent over two decades researching. If you’ve ever heard of or seen the Netflix series

“Sex, Love & Goop”…

You’ll already know a little about their Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ Course (EBBC), designed to help us unlock the elegant and uncensored vocabulary of our sexual desires.

Take 20% OFF the Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough Course using EJ20 >>

The thinking here is that with this knowledge, we can give ourselves permission to feel more pleasure and reach our full, limitless orgasmic potential. Who could say no to that?! 

When my colleague Marisa and I were chatting with Ian about joining the course, we were vibrating with curiosity and enthusiasm despite knowing that this wasn’t going to be a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of venture. Honestly? It’s probably the most extensive exploration of individual sexuality that exists (at least that I’ve run into).

That same day, we took the In-Depth Erotic Blueprints® Quiz, read all the juicy details of our Blueprint’s sexual superpowers, and then we dove into the course itself.

Oh, and for the record, I’m a pregnant, married woman moving through the course on a solo journey (yes, we still want and can have a spicy bedroom life!), while Marisa embarked on a journey with her partner, Shawn.

But, before we share our experiences, let’s talk more about the Blueprints. It’s all about…

Becoming a sexual detective

Seriously, if you’ve ever felt uncertainty around compatibility with partners, lack of sexual confidence, inability to orgasm, or are unsure of whether or not your desires are “too much” or “too weird,” I’d like to put a metaphorical hand on your shoulder and really emphasize that…

1. You’re not alone.
2. None of those negative thoughts are true!
3. You simply haven’t learned how to recognize and utilize the superpowers of your Erotic Blueprints®.

What’s an Erotic Blueprint?

I’m glad you asked. I’ve come to think of the Blueprints as the map to what turns you on. (Imagine if the Love Languages had a sexually enlightened, horny older sister.) There are five types: Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, and Shapeshifter.

What’s your Erotic Blueprint? Take this quiz & find out >>

Knowing our Blueprint can help us avoid those “sexual language barrier” moments that can really drive a wedge between us and our pleasure. For example, for certain Blueprints, too much physical touch too quickly can actually overwhelm them and be a turn-off. Whereas for others, all of their senses need to be stimulated and they can’t “get there” without it.

Fully-Embodied, Pleasure-Based Wisdom

Being intimate is incredibly vulnerable, whether it’s with yourself, a long-term partner, or even a f*ck buddy.

And, sometimes, rather than a symphony of limbs and sexual energy and delicious play, sexual encounters can feel more like being caught pants-down on a dancefloor during an earthquake—in a foreign country.

This is why the course is deeply rooted in the truths the body tells rather than what we “think” about sex and pleasure.

The goal is to peel away the layers of what we believe (or what society has told us) sexuality should look like, so we can fully own our unique, delicious capacity for pleasure—how we’ve individually been wired for it—and give it a voice and claim the pleasure we deserve.

For example, have you ever thought…

“Am I even doing this right?” “Maybe we’re not sexually compatible?” “It’d sure be nice if someone could give me a map to explain wtf I need to do.”

I have. And when discussing this topic with Marisa, she said, “While my relationship definitely has had a strong foundation of stellar intellectual and emotional communication from our very first meeting, what we really didn’t know is that we’ve been speaking different erotic languages behind the bedroom door.”

Others might find themselves feeling this way too.

Hint: this is because we haven’t discovered how to explore what arouses our bodies and brings us to multi-orgasmic ecstasy, let alone how to talk about it all with a lover. Not to mention getting past the shame that can come from saying what turns us on or off or how hard it can be to declare our boundaries. It’s about time we have a language and tools that empower us to declare our “f@*k yes!” and “f@*k no!”—right?

This is really why unearthing and learning the language of our Blueprint (and our personalized pleasure profile—available only from the in-depth quiz) is so life-changing…for couples, yes, but humans in general, really.

Get your customized pleasure profile & treasure map to orgasmic fulfillment—here >>

But, remember:

Information alone is not transformation.

Yup. Understanding our Blueprint type is a crucial slice of getting a holistic view of who we truly are as sexual beings—but it’s not the whole pie. There are three juicy, empowering pieces to our overarching Blueprint being—the last two really add the flavors which make it “yours”:

1. Your Erotic Blueprint Type
2. Your Sexuality Stage
3. Your Obstacles/Pathways to Sexual Health and Pleasure

It takes the knowledge of what our personal pie consists of plus an embodiment of the skills to really have that breakthrough from sexual dissatisfaction to sexual ecstasy.

(Don’t worry, this is all covered within the course.)

Speaking of the course, let’s pause here and dig into “what the course offers and how it’s of benefit” a little deeper.  They offer…

1. Over 70 short, easy-to-digest, fun video trainings in the art of orgasmic fulfillment.
2. Tools to help heal the shadows of our sexuality so we are freed from the shackles of judgment and shame.

And have you ever wanted your own personal sex coach and advisor? They give you…

3. Two Monthly Pleasure Mastery group calls where you can ask any question about your sex life to our Erotic Blueprint Lead Coaches™ and…
4. Two Monthly Sex, Tips, Tools, and Tricks calls where the Erotic Blueprint Lead Coaches™ provide hour-long sessions exploring techniques that spice up your sex life.

Bonus! When your tuition is all paid, you get a lifetime membership to their exclusive online community—Erotic Freedom Club—where you get these coaching calls at your fingertips month after month and access to dozens of bonus video trainings.

Wanna skip the foreplay & get to the fun stuff? Sign up for the course right here (& take 20% OFF using EJ20) >>

Here’s how Marisa and Shawn are making use of their Blueprints and the tools from the course. Let’s call it “The Shapeshifter & the Sensual Story”:

Hi! I’m Marisa, and I’m a shapeshifter. Read: I f*cking love and want it all. Give me your kinky, your sexual, your sensual. Press against my p*ssy and look me in the eye, and I’m probably ready. Kiss my neck and seduce me for an hour, and that’ll do it, too. Push me into the snow-hugged tree in the woods, and pull my leggings down…bonus if there’s rope!

Shawn is a Sensual. He likes it laced and soft. He likes it sweet and slow and savoring in a soothing environment. Give him candles, give him good lighting, give him soft sheets and let him cuddle while he glides into the paradise that is you.

Having been given the primary labels of Sensual and Shapeshifter has helped us understand a little more of what the other needs and to express, gently, what we each have been missing in our shared sex life.

We’re focusing on really integrating the practices offered alongside the information in the first portion of the Blueprint Course. Specifically, we’re practicing:

1. Body Reveals.

An exercise where you practice asking for and sharing the details of what is going on within your body. This comes in especially handy in moments when we might feel triggered and helps to reduce the charge of heated moments. After all, we can argue with thoughts, but it’s difficult to refute a physical sensation.

2. An upgraded version of consent.

When I shared a body reveal after Shawn had lovingly caressed my dinner-loaded belly despite my asking him not to, Shawn shared a vulnerable moment: he’d had a realization that he can sometimes feel that because we are together, he is permitted to touch my body in non-sexual ways whenever he pleases. When he shared, this opened the space for me to admit to having crossed similar boundaries with him.

With that simple discussion surrounding consent, I could feel my muscles release tension around the thought of his touch and energetically melt more toward him. I’ve found myself more in tune with his body language and have noted his observing mine. We have both practiced asking if touch, at certain times, was okay. And not insisting on it when it wasn’t.

3. Empathy with each other versus showing sympathy.

This one! This one, we need to work on. I never realized how often I’ve mistaken sympathy for empathy and was thus failing to fully relate to my partner in a meaningful and vulnerable way.

I can honestly report a triple-flame increase in quality and satisfaction with our sex life in just weeks. It’s like when we first started dating, all over again—but with an even deeper, more meaningful, and fulfilling connection.

Learn how to master your Blueprint’s sexy superpowers (& take 20% off the course price using code EJ20) >>

Hi, I’m Kate, and I’m Kinky.

Yup. My greatest Blueprint percentage lies in kink, with a little tinge of Sensual. I am both the psychological and the sensation-based subset of a Kinky Blueprint. Whether it’s kissing along the lines of taboo, a power play, spanking, or whips…it’s a yes from me.

Now, if you had asked me if I was surprised by the results about four years ago, I probably would’ve laughed and said no. But the present, pregnant me was more like, “Oh, that’s still in there?”

Even though I am taking my time with the course, like Shawn and Marisa, I felt the impacts of the program right off the bat.

Deeper connection & satisfying sex start here >>

One of the first exercises that offered much insight was “The Magic Wand Method.” They simply asked us to pretend that if someone had a magic wand and could grant any desire we wanted, what is it we want to get from the course? If you want to be tickled and teased and caressed by five scantily clad gents for hours, consider it done! Best sex of your life? Check!

From that answer, you then ask, “What does this bring to the surface for me? Go Deeper.” Repeat a few times. (This can be done with a partner.)

Frankly, my answer was somewhat boring—I didn’t know what I wanted from the course. Enter: shame. The real kicker occurred when I was asked to “bring it into the body.” I was to re-read my answer and take note of how my body responded. (Another use of Body Reveals.)

What was revealed: I felt ashamed for having a “boring” answer rather than a sexually charged and excited response like “have sex 12 times a day.” This scared me and made me feel lesser.

The lesson was driven home when I remembered an intention set for the course right from the beginning:

There’s no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to our sexuality.

Boom! Can we hear that again for my friends in the back?! 

Once I was able to strip away the idea that my sex life should look like “this” and replace it with “I am learning the language of what I want from my sex life,” I immediately felt a renewed sense of adventurousness—because it’s mine to explore and expand upon.

It’s so easy to take on these skewed, generalized ideas of sex: what it is, what it feels like, how to do it, how frequently we should do it…but that’s really just limiting us and missing the point. (I say this to remind myself as much as I’m telling you, my friend.)

I’ve still got a long way to go, but my greatest takeaway so far is this:

Rather than sinking into the mindset that we have a “broken libido” or a lack of sexual compatibility with someone, maybe we just need to stir the pot, reveal and remove the stigma, and take the time to really learn about who we are as sexual beings—learn to speak the linguistics of lovemaking according to us.

Isn’t it time to claim the pleasure you desire and get your very own Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough?

Click here if you’re ready to claim the pleasure you deserve >>