Trolling and bullying on social media is an omnipresent problem. If you’re running your own business, are a social media manager, a content creator, or an influencer, you’re likely showing up on your social media handles often. And there is a high probability that you’re facing mean messages, bullying, body shaming, and unsolicited opinions and advice just as often. This continuous chronic trolling can be exhausting to fight, report or tackle regularly. And it can take its toll on your mental health, which can impact your work or business.

So, what do you do? How do you handle it? Do you fight? Or do you ignore it? What’s the right way to go about it? As a practitioner and teacher of yoga, with an active social media presence, I have been facing this challenge for years, and these are questions that I have grappled with. Over time, I have developed my own process that helps me stay productive while also taking care of my mental health. In this article, I wanted to share my method of dealing with trolls – and perhaps it will help you design your own ‘troll management system.’

So, let’s dive right into it.

1. Define your philosophy

There can be many different ways you can approach this issue and you need to decide which philosophy you abide by. Here’s what I believe–the urge to respond to all trolls is powerful, but that’s the last thing you want to do. I think the only way to starve them is through silence and by continuing to show up undeterred. The best way to defy them is not in the comment section but in your feed–by continuing to do what you do with great confidence. Because trolls feed off your agitated responses, anger and frustration. They like to steal your energy that could’ve been put to productive use. They love it when you reply to them–it’s just that simple. Deny them all of that, and they suffer, repeatedly trying to get a reaction out of you till they give up and slither away, looking for more responsive victims.

1. Have a policy

Have a clear policy on how you will treat various types of trolls. This will prevent unnecessary decision fatigue, and you won’t have to debate about whether you should respond or how you should react. I classify trolls into four distinct categories and have a clear plan of action for how I will react to each of them.

Ban and block – for people using abusive or explicit words

Such people are the ones who comment inappropriately on my clothes or body. I call them the frustrated mob, and they are the kind who feel threatened by an independent woman. They try their best to pull you down, break your confidence, and plant self-doubt. They are the poster child of patriarchy, which is why there’s a certain satisfaction in silencing them. So they are outright blocked and banned. Fortunately, Instagram now also allows you to block the person and ‘all future accounts they will create’. Which I find to be excellent.

Restrict – the immature Casanovas looking to try their luck 

These are people in the grey area, more of a nuisance rather than a threat. I’m never sure if they’re evil or just immature – but I also don’t have the time or energy to deal with their banter. Their messages often border on objectifying the female body, but not always. So, they get ‘restricted’. This means that when they comment on my posts, they are the only ones who can see that comment; no one else can. To me, it appears as a ‘hidden’ comment, and I have the option to view or ignore it. I also restrict people if they’re leaving messages on my feed that are providing misinformation­–if an unsolicited comment is clearly harmful for my followers, I would rather that they not see it.

Accept – those trying to incite or agitate me

These slightly evolved trolls go beyond the body, clothes, or age. They want to fight with you over ideology and often attack your belief system. I try not to block them, because it is important to be able to listen to contradictory views without reacting or getting worked up. So, keeping them on gives me good practise in patience and self-control. Unless they are being very vicious, vitriolic or sharing misinformation, I let them have their say and often respond with a one-line message thanking them for their views. I may even surprise them by saying something nice or complimentary.

Name and shame – when I need to send a message.

This is reserved for those novel cases that help me highlight some of the deep rooted misogyny in our culture. Or I intuitively feel that this person needs to be stopped. When it comes to nefarious men, I think every woman must honour her intuition. These could be messages from seemingly everyday people or those with outright criminal tendencies. At times I have also registered a complaint with the cyber cell and let the person know of my complaint along with a screenshot. It is usually followed by profuse apologies and a promise to ‘never behave like that again’. Which probably doesn’t hold a lot of merit, but it’s better than nothing. It is a time consuming activity, but when it needs to be done, it needs to be done.

1. Use the ‘hidden words’ feature on Instagram.

When I get nasty messages, I also keep updating the list of offensive words in my Instagram privacy settings. So, the app automatically hides any messages containing those words, phrases or emojis. It has helped clean up my comments section and DMs considerably and I absolutely love using this feature to silence a troll. They can keep talking to themselves in their special lonely silo in my comments section and DMs till kingdom come. No one’s listening. 

1. Divert your energies to something bigger

Rather than waste my energy in taking on trolls individually over comments or DMs, I divert it to something bigger. I personally shift the conversation to a blog, vlog or post and use that energy to create something comprehensive that starts a bigger conversation and creates positive influence in the community. You can try the same–write down your thoughts, create awareness, and give other people a platform to share their experiences and build better connections. It’s far more meaningful and has a much higher chance of creating a positive impact than breaking your head with someone who will never change their mind anyway. Even if you don’t immediately want to publish it, jot down those thoughts that are triggered by a troll anyway. It will come in handy one day.

1. Have a support system

You need to have people you can talk to and share your experiences with. It could be a friend, partner or even a therapist. You don’t want to accumulate the stress and trauma of dealing with bad people without processing it through good human company or therapy. Talking to someone is an excellent way to better understand yourself and your response to trolling.

1. Take a break

Despite your best efforts and intentions, trolls can sometimes get the better off you. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you’re not weak, and they did not win. You just need a little break and TLC. So log-off social media, replenish your energies, spend time with good people and get back whenever you feel ready. By briefly disconnecting yourself from the situation, you can get back to your work with renewed motivation and energy. And by being around people you love and care about, you’ll renew your faith in the inherent goodness of humankind. 

I must admit that dealing with trolls used to be very difficult initially and I would feel discouraged, demotivated and disinterested in showing up. It felt like all the meaningful work I wanted to do amounted to nothing. But on the bright side, if you keep showing up, you develop resilience to it. Now, it feels no different from keeping one’s house clean–I sweep and dust my social media accounts regularly and take out the garbage, with a spring in my step.  

Maybe some of these ideas might work for you or maybe you need to design your own system that aligns with your values, profession and vision. Would love to hear how you handle this in comments so many more of us can benefit from your experience.