Why do we hold on so long?

Why do we grip it so tightly? For years, often a lifetime?

AAAHH! It is insane. It truly is. This vice-like grip we have on controlling our lives, forcing things to manifest, sticking to time limits, cramming more in when we are already in dire need of rest, and pushing ourselves to the brink of insanity to meet the expectations of the world, our family, of us.

Why do we keep holding on so tight, when it is so damn painful to stay in this place?

I am at the point where I just want to revel in the freedom of surrender. To just damn well let go! I am so over forcing it. I am so over hustling and pushing and ticking it off the list, and striving for more. I want to attract and allow for more, with joy, patience, and flow.

And it’s a pattern, right. Something my body has become accustomed to with several years of repetition, and it likes to sit there, in the space of control, where every move is scrupulously analyzed before it is made. My nervous system likes the known and familiar. It feels safe in the routine.

But, there comes a point where the known is a challenge to maintain. There comes a time when the known becomes so bloody painful. It’s a tug-of-war between the soul calling and deep purpose you long to move towards, and the known safety that your body craves. The soul versus the body. Who will triumph?

Your soul wants to allow for growth, expansion and change.
Your soul wants to feel ease, fun, excitement, passion, and deep joy.
Your soul wants to receive it all.

Your soul knows you are here for so much more than you already allow like you are only half living.

My soul craves stillness. Not the stillness that comes with doing nothing,(although there should definitely be room for that too,) but the stillness that comes with peace and trust.

The stillness that comes with knowing it is all taken care of, that my purpose will lead me to what is meant to be. The stillness that comes from pausing, getting out of the overactive mind and simply being.

Last night I was triggered by a comment and what I felt to be a rejection. I immediately went to my default thought. “I’m not worthy. I’m not good enough.”
But, I thought f*$k this. I’m not sitting stuck in this. I am a creator. I am an empowered, amazing, and gifted woman! So I tapped (Emotional Freedom Technique, involving tapping certain points on the body, to release energy and feel a reduction in emotional or physical pain,)my little heart out to move that energy through my body.  It took maybe 30 damn rounds of tapping, but I felt it shift. And I fell asleep clearer and freer.

Yes, I have work to continue to do, likely every day of my life. It is a lifelong journey and commitment to expanding. But these wins will add up. They will transform from simple, momentary wins, to massive moves and incredible freedom. Stepping out from the constructed, comfort zone we have crafted, is the only way to create the incredible impact and deeply- fulfilling life we desire to have.

I am so here for this.
I am so ready to be seen and heard and received by the people who “get” me.
I am full body, hell yes, invested in this journey to more freedom, more ease, more joy, more impact, more delicious excitement.

Bring it on!