Good “aural” is both an art and a discipline. Voice tone has a direct effect on the frequency and passion in an intimate relationship. Even when not anticipating formal intimacy, you’re building or diminishing a love connection with each interaction by how you speak.

Remember that foreplay is a constant, rather than an event. One of the main things that a woman wants most from her chosen intimate partner is presence. How you use your voice is an integral part of presence, especially during a telephone exchange. Let’s examine what makes for gratifying telephone interactions.

When my woman phones me I assume a desire for reassurance is built-in. Whether consciously or not, she wants to feel that love is alive between us. How I answer the call sets an immediate tone for the feeling between us and the conversation to follow. For example, I know (because I asked) that she prefers to hear either a term of endearment or her name. Consider asking your beloved how they wish to be addressed on the phone.

A conscious breath just before I answer helps me transition my attention. If it isn’t a good time for me to talk we’re better off if I pick up and let her know that I’m glad to hear her voice and I don’t have the space for an involved talk. If I have a pressing issue or if something else requires my steady focus it’s usually better if I let the call go to voicemail.

The importance of speaking directly to feelings over the phone is critical since body language is not in play. I may tell her how the sound of her voice affects me or that I’m thinking of how beautiful she must be at this moment. Those are just examples, the main thing is to be kind and real with what’s alive for you.

If she is speaking about feelings then I’ll respond to what she just said before talking about anything else. Timely acknowledgment is a tangible expression of caring.

Whether talking ‘business’ or about more intimate subjects (like desire and dreams) we do better when it’s clear to each of us which purpose the call is serving. It’s also helpful to have formal transitions from one type of topic to another. This may sound like, “I’m enjoying our connection AND I need to change the subject. Do you need anything else before changing gears?”

Then there’s the purely erotic phone call (slow wink). The more you know what you like and can own it, the more sexy it can be. The more detailed the fantasy, the more interesting it will be to both of you. “Oh yeah baby, I’ll come home and you’ll do me” is much less captivating than “When I walk through the door I want you wearing a short skirt and no panties. You’re going to be in the laundry room pretending that you haven’t heard me enter the house. I’ll see the light on and find you there. I’ll say your name in a deep voice and …” You get the idea!

Try to leave your beloved with a sense of what’s in your heart. Extra points get awarded for speaking directly to feelings and needs while offering acknowledgment and understanding.