Many of us want it all—to be loving and present with our children, kicking ass at work, grabbing drinks with friends, working out first thing in the morning, eating home-cooked meals…but is it possible?

If we take a moment to examine our ideal, we may realize that it’s not realistic.

Can you name a single person who is successfully juggling all these areas of their life without feeling completely rundown? There may be the rare exception, but chances are, for many of us, there is an imbalance. A person’s career may be soaring, for example, but they’re not able to spend as much time as they would like with their children. Our social media feed may be flooded with images of someone’s jet set travels, but that person’s bank account is likely taking a hit. A friend might be tearing it up on dance floor every night, but her bedsheets are empty and void of real love.

We like to think someone has it all, but oftentimes, we are failing to see the flip side of the coin.

For this reason, I love the advice: “You can have it all, just not all at once.”

I got this advice years ago from a new mom who had recently put her career on hold to raise her baby. Since becoming a new mom myself, it has become more salient and helpful to me than ever. As every mom knows, when you have a little wiggly worm in your hands, you don’t have time for much else. Quality time with friends, career, even our personal hygiene takes a backseat, especially in those first crucial months.

There is a season for everything. My current season is motherhood—challenging as it may be.

This more sustainable version of “having it all” will look different for different people.

Some of us may want more time in the bedroom than in the boardroom. Whatever we choose, it’s important to remember: “We can have it all, just not all at once.”

And cut ourselves some slack in the process.

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