“Conservatives! You’re living the life liberals gave you.”

This whole thread is both genius and obvious and true, via @sonnyvermont.

“Every six weeks, Sue also dyes her mousey brown hair with Clairol 102 “Ivanka Blonde,” which doesn’t fry her scalp because some liberals fought to keep cosmetics companies from adding skin burning chemicals in their at home hair coloring products.”

And, ahem: “There is absolutely no way she takes the subway to work, no matter how much it saves on gas and parking. That’s not how her brain works.

The only subway she’s ever been in sells sandwiches.” ~ a reddit comment

“The abortion Sue secretly got 12 years ago has already happened, and she doesn’t think she’ll need another one. Sue is a “fuck you, I got mine” kind of person. That’s why Sue voted Republican.”

…because Republicans have succeeded in sucking public education dry, while funding wars and militarizing police and bleeding dry (say, the Post Office, which isn’t even tax-funded) or privatizing just about every public good they can get their hands on.

Or, via a comment via Reddit, “…despite at least completing high school through America’s (formerly) wonderful public school system, in which she was exposed to world history, sciences, math, English, second languages, other kids in her community with which she made friends, physical education AND didn’t really have to pay much for save for school supplies and maybe a few textbooks. Sue doesn’t understand the opportunity she squandered because she didn’t pay attention in world studies enough to know the vast majority of the world doesn’t have the same luxury and how education was habitually kept from the non-wealthy.

All because some School House Rock, well-rounded libtard fought for and understood the value of an educated populace.”

~

Bonus: “Sue gets to vote for Donald, even if her husband votes for someone else, because some feminazi antifa liberal thought that women should be allowed to vote, for some reason.”

“This whole Twitter thread is basically just an update of Sidney Webb’s epic takedown of an “individualist town councillor”, where he just recounts how all of socialism’s hard fought victories are considered the ‘normal baseline’ today:

An individualist town councillor will walk along the municipal pavement, lit by municipal gas and cleansed by municipal brooms with municipal water and – seeing by the municipal clock in the municipal market, that he is too early to meet his children coming from the municipal school, hard by the county lunatic asylum and the municipal hospital, will use the national telegraph system to tell them not to walk through the municipal park, but to come by the municipal tramway to meet him in the municipal reading-room, by the municipal museum, art-gallery, and library, where he intends … to prepare his next speech in the municipal town hall in favor of the nationalization of canals and in increase of Government control of the railway system.

“Socialism, Sir,” he will say, “don’t waste the time of a practical man by your fantastic absurdities. Self-help, Sir, individual self-help, that’s what has made our city what it is.”