PERCEPTION IS REALITY.

And Jesus could not do miracles in his hometown because of this.

My ex-husband always hated it when I said this to him. He would argue with me that we are not responsible for how others view us and that it does not matter either. He would tell me repeatedly that all that mattered was how we saw ourselves.

If we believed that we were showing up a certain way,

THEN WE WERE.

Well, I still stand firm with the idea that perception is reality.

It may not be truth, granted… but it sure the f-ck is reality to those that are perceiving and here is how it impacts us when we are perceived in any fashion.

I first want to state that Einstein brought this point to light when he spoke about how reality is an illusion, quantum physics supports this by revealing to us that our perception… Our witnessing of reality in nature or life in general is the determining factor to our outcomes.

The law of attraction is based on this very concept in truth, that perception is reality.

Now we are speaking about our personal perception here to our worlds and what we desire to have as an outcome, which supports my ex-husbands belief structure that others perception does not matter, only our own view of our world and being in alignment to US is what makes our reality.

What if the world around us see’s us in one way and we do not agree with it though? That we do not even see it?

The illusion of the reality of our outside world although still an illusion perhaps, albeit a persistent one. Is the reality that we are facing.

When we receive a message from this outside perspective it is our duty to self to explore its possibilities when we are faced with it more than once.

Realizing that we are always receiving the perfect message, the perfect lesson at the perfect time of our lives is helpful in such moments, as often when we have to address outside perceptions that differ with our own inner sight on things, it can be painful and scary. The most loving and responsible thing we can do as individuals is to realize that if something keeps coming back to us, and especially when it comes from multiple sources that maybe, just maybe we as the common denominator are creating it somehow.

Now we can say all day long that it is not our responsibility as to how others see us.

But I challenge you on this way of believing because relationships with others and our world around us creates our very lives.

I deal with this matter of perception frequently in my life.

For years as a tantra and sex and relationship coach in open relationships and being very playful and uninhabited in my exploration I created an energy that said that I was all about free love. That I was into swinging, f-ck buddies and NOT monogamous at all.  I spoke about openness, I lived it, I breathed it and I enjoyed it, then one day it was not feeding my soul any longer and I slowed my roll. I became monogamish you could say. I let go of all the old lovers and play friends, the adventure sex, etc. but I kept up the talk, the workshops on it and the energy covered me still.

Fast forward…

I changed relationships and got into a deeply heart centered, soul aligned relationship with a man that I was deeply drawn to with every fiber of my being, and where that left me was wanting nothing but him. I no longer craved the outside adventures. I only wanted our sex, our union and without reservation or hesitation my whole being flipped to hard core monogamous. To the point that I would be deeply hurt at this moment if it was even suggested to change.

That is where I am, currently.

Now, the outside world still has not caught up to where I am.

I am still being made offers from old lovers to come play.

I am still being made offers by friends and acquaintances to come swing.

I am still being made offers for three-somes.

I am still being hit on and the assumption from friends, family and the outside world is that I am not in a committed monogamous relationship.

And even though my life is vastly different.

And my desire is what it is.

The world is having trouble seeing me as such.

Now I can say tough sh*t to how the world sees me, it does not matter. I know where I am. That is all that matters. Stay aligned to self and all will work out.

But here is the thing, in order to heal this and to stay aligned to self I must address how I am showing up in the world and with the people I relate to.

Over the course of the last half a year almost I have been working advertently on perception.

I have had to get very authentic with myself and willing to call bullsh*t on myself as to where I have been remaining blind to my old patterns and habits and how these old patterns and habits have me showing up that is causing part of the perception issue that is at hand in my life.

If I just turn my back to these perceptions, I will end up creating chaos, frustration and suffering as well as unalignment to self because without taking responsibility for my part in the perception I will continue to do the things that are supporting it and this will in turn not make me happy.

When our outside world perceives us in a way that we do not like over the course of time we will have doubt, pain and bitterness manifest within ourselves. These low frequency emotions keep us out of alignment to soul unless we recognize them for what they are.

Addressing our responsibility and setting appropriate personal boundaries with self and our world is what must happen in order to create a new perception over the course of time.

Much like anything it does take time to change perception.

It takes time to show that we have changed, transformed and our outside world follows our inner world.

But if we simply continue to act and say that other perceptions have no effect on our reality, then we are choosing to remain blind to our part in the co-manifestation of our lives and we create a victim mindset toward how life is showing up for us.

Owning our part and acting on new patterns gives us power.

So, if you find yourself in a perception battle, and you question how someone, or how the world around you sees you as something that you are not. Know that you are responsible for those perceptions, and responsible for changing them as well if they do not serve your greatest happiness. If the relationships that bring them to you, mean nothing, then walk away and start afresh. If the relationships are ones you desire to heal and keep, then know that it will take time, and only your actions and how you choose to reveal yourself and show up will create the perception and truth that you want for.