As humans we are all our own worst enemies. We beat ourselves down when we make new mistakes every day, and we expect way too much from ourselves. But do we realize how much we do? We are already loved, forgiven, and a work in progress by our creator. Why doubt God who will be doing his work to help us be our healthiest and best version? If you are trying one hundred percent to do everything you can to get better, leave the rest in God’s hands.

Small celebrations for the little steps we take every day to be better and healthier is the best idea always! Loving ourselves is so hard, but it’s worth it.

It’s the spiritual monkeys that always head into a healthier and more promising direction. We’re all about loving ourselves wholeheartedly in order to love others wholeheartedly. In order to be someone’s best friend, you have to be your own best friend first! It’s time to be kinder to ourselves, so let’s go for it!

Here are 14 Ways I am learning to be my Own Best Friend:

1. Count Your Blessings

What is it that you are grateful for today? Have you ever tried journaling? Write down some good things that happened to you today. Whenever you are feeling down, think about someone out there who wishes to have what you have.

Many people have everything they want, but they are still not happy. That’s because they focus on their wants more than their needs. It’s all about living to do what you love and making the most out of all the good you already have in your life. The time to be happy is now.

Being aware and recognizing the blessings around us are what help us to be happy. The biggest blessing in our lives is God because he never leaves us. He is here for us permanently, but everything else that he gave us, those are temporary. Therefore, we must not take what we have for granted.

What are some things that I write on my journal to count my blessings? I write down I’m grateful that I woke up today for another day, for the people in my life that look after me, the sun that is shining, and my daily routine that gives me something to look forward to. I am grateful for the gifts that I have that I can use to inspire others. I’m grateful for the good heart and mind I have to be able to pray for others. In the end of the day, there is so much to be thankful for.

How do we write this? Get a piece of paper or journal and a pen. Then write down five good things about today or everything that you are ultimately grateful for. I would start out with good things for this week or today and then get into listing out everything that you are grateful for!

1. Remember your weaknesses today could be your strengths tomorrow!

Everyone has weaknesses and strengths, so remember, you’re not alone. Someone’s weakness could be running, but their strength could be painting! Despite it all you can always take small steps to turn your weaknesses into your strength. Say for example, you start doing warm ups like walking every day and then when you feel your bones are stronger, you can create goals for running. The first week you can run for one minute, and then the next week two minutes. That’s where it starts!

Your weakness today could be your strength tomorrow! My weakness is running, but I walk every day for twenty minutes now, and my bones are getting stronger. My goal is to be a runner someday. I mean, if we have bones, why not make the most out of it? Some people run without feet, they put on those metal feet’s on. I like to take this as an inspiration for myself.

Another good example is writing an essay. Say you get a B plus on an essay, that doesn’t mean you won’t get an A on the next one! It’s all trial and error. As you keep on practicing, your writing will get better and will improve. The more you read, the more your writing builds because of your knowledge. Therefore, don’t let little mistakes discourage you. Don’t sweat the small stuff!

1. Keep healthy boundaries with families and friends

Just like you need time to grow and heal, so do the people that are close in your life! As you do some self-care, be a positive influencer for others to do the same. Give them space to sort out their thoughts, relax, and enjoy the day for themselves as well.

Sometimes, when we are all around each other twenty four seven, we need to get out of our heads and shift our perspective a bit clearer. Yes, this is all we have, but that doesn’t mean we have to annoy one another all the time. We can give love, when we practice some self-love. This could be meditation, naps, journaling, walking in the park, going to the gym, getting your nails and hair done, and much more. Guys have their own kind of self-care, and so do woman!

Think about it today, what is something that you can do for yourself before you take care of others? What will fuel you up and others as well? Is it eating more fruits and vegetables? Getting enough sleep? Exercising? Which one do you need more right now?

1. Talk to your parents and ask them how they stay strong on their own feet

The struggles that our parents went through could inspire all of us. Hearing our parents’ stories could tell us that if they can get through life strongly, so can we! If you have parents that are very vulnerable, what can you do to help them? Sometimes, people don’t learn to be strong until it’s the only choice that they have.

When we see our parents as our role models, that’s when we become more like them. Our parents are the reason we are where we are today. What is something you can implement onto yourself from your parents that you admire of?

Giving back, is something that I love to do and all I ever want to do. I inherited this from both my parents, to give back to others. From my father I inherited writing poetry, singing, and enjoying music as well. From my mother I inherited art, love of plants, cooking, and loving school. My grandparents were both professors who were scholars and successful at teaching and writing. This is something that I inherited as well.

You’re probably thinking oh wow, my grandparents are really smart! Yes, they are but that’s not what got them far. It’s their ambition that they put to use that got them far.

1. Talk to yourself like a good friend would

Do you ever give yourself some sweet talk? I know that we speak well to other people, but how about we speak well to ourselves as well? What do you think to yourself when you look at yourself in the mirror every day?

When you look at yourself in the mirror today or tonight, tell yourself that you are brave, strong, smart, wise, beautiful, determined, and kind. Tell yourself everything that you ever wanted to be, and watch it come to life. There is nothing wrong feeling full and then getting to the top. We all have something to work on, but that doesn’t mean we are an incomplete person. Yes, we’re a work in progress, but we’re not a piece of plastic. We’re so much more.

What do I tell myself when I look at the mirror? That I am getting wiser, stronger, and smarter every day. That I am capable of doing great things. I tell myself the good qualities that I have, such as my kind heart and creative mind. Those good qualities can take me far. I am kind to others, because I am kind to myself. I love others, because I love myself.

1. Do a little more of what you love for your heart, mind, and soul

Sometimes we forget to feed our soul, heal our heart, and bless our minds. We deserve to bloom like a flower, not be filled with various kinds of weeds in our mind.  What is it that you enjoy doing? Something that brings you joy? We have to empty our mind and take our all those weeds!

In the end of the day, all that matters is that your heart is healthy, your brain is relaxed, and your soul is clean. In order to do that, you have to find what feels good for you! This could be playing an instrument, reading a book, walking at the park, going to the gym, or praying. Whatever it is, when you have a list of all the things that you think will make you happy if you do it, you’ll be okay.

1. Let go of certain addictions

Whatever it could be whether it’s smoking or drinking; these are not good for the health! Any addiction can be toxic for us. It could be a small addiction even, such as biting your nails, cursing, getting angry, gossiping, etc. Whatever ruins us, those are things we need to let go of. Those are things that can damage our soul and cause us to burn alive in this world.

You have to lift your spirits up. Even when you’re down, there is always a bright side in life. However, it’s hard to be happy when we are harming ourselves. Practicing negativity turns us into a negative person. Practicing positivity is what makes us a leader in this world, and we need more great leaders.

Replace your addictions with something better, like instead of smoking, chew gum. Instead of drinking, drink juice or make a smoothie. Instead of cursing and swearing, bless people and pray for them. Instead of gossiping about someone behind their back, talk good about them. If they’re a trouble in your life, seek help and guidance, but don’t fight fire with fire.

1. Celebrate how far you came as a person in all ways!

We accomplish so much in such a short time, which is amazing. We have no idea of how much we overcome in a year and all the lives that we have touched day by day. It’s important to think about all the good things you did every year. Whatever you created, whoever you served, the things you worked hard for, and the kind words you said to others, it all counts!

Yeah we make mistakes, but every second we are improving. How else do we learn to better ourselves? Sometimes, bad choices lead to good choices. Mistakes lead to a new route in life. We are experiencing life and we are growing through what we go through.

Therefore, don’t punish yourself but accept and forgive yourself. Laugh at your mistakes if you can to lighten up your mood and feelings. Mistakes don’t define you, your accomplishments do.

You’re one person, but you can handle and do so much. Never doubt your capabilities and think lowly of yourself. No one is superior to you. God is superior to us, but we are not of each other. I know that people can be competitive these days and it always feels like we have something to prove to people, but don’t let what people say get to your head.

Be confident from all the good that you have done. Don’t let one tiny accomplishment be overlooked as nothing. I got my Associates degree, for example, and even if it was tiny and not such a big degree, it mattered. Every little step we take leads to something greater, so it counts! I’ll become a senior next year, and hopefully get my Bachelor’s degree in English Literature!

There’s always good to come, so keep your head up and be strong.