When I flew from Australia for a 10 day trip back to the UK for my Grandmother’s funeral, I knew I wanted to read some of my own words.

I am not exaggerating when I express that it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Leaving my three young children behind whilst I make the super sonic voyage was heart wrenching. I grew immeasurably. I wrote my eulogy on the second plane leaving from Doha. I sobbed and healed a little as I scribed.

What I realised when helping my own Mother pick her words was that it is not an easy thing to do. Words do not come with grace or at all to those in need and in times of such emotion. Not everyone wants to read their own and instead take solace in matching an eulogy that speaks perfectly to their heart.

So it is for this reason that I share mine with you all. My wish is that perhaps these words will be read by someone who is in need of expression but the flow is dry or words are barricaded by grief.

If it is so, please share mine. It almost feels like a little piece of her is still being commemorated and kept alive and I thank you for that.

Dear Grandma,

I wasn’t sure if I was going to be standing here today reading my words to you.

This has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever wanted to do.

Kissing my children and husband goodbye as I travel, heavy in heart, high in the sky.

I didn’t realise how much fear I held.

Trying to recall your strength and wisdom so that I may tell.

How do you narrow down into a few words the memoir of a matriarch?

A woman who shone a light through most of my childhood dark.

Your routines and sensibility gave us all comfort like a warm cup of tea.

How you always remembered and sent cards was an absolute bloody mystery to me.

Looking around the room now I see the ripples of your love and commitment.

We don’t just grieve for what we’ve lost now, we grieve for what may be lost in the future.

The phone calls, words unspoken, the laughs and jokes will be missed beyond measure.

When someone you love becomes a memory that memory becomes a treasure.

A treasure to be kept in our hearts forever.