When feelings allow us to stray too far from the neutral place of contentment, they take over and we can easily get stuck in the hell we created for ourselves.
Sadness becomes depression
Happiness becomes mania
Anger becomes rage
Anxiety becomes panic attacks
Worry turns into control
Attachment becomes insanity
Complacency becomes arrogance
Criticism turns into self-righteousness
Love becomes obsession
Involvement turns into manipulation
Loose boundaries lead to resentment
Loose boundaries lead to abuse
Loose boundaries lead to exhaustion
Loose boundaries lead to doormat-ism
Escapism becomes addiction
These are examples of emotional dualities taken over by ego. It has taken me a hell of a lot of work, and PAIN, to be able to spot these more subtle shifts in emotions. However, looking back, I have always felt the shift coming on early enough to stop myself from entering into the depths of hell. I just didn’t have the confidence or self esteem to believe I had this kind of intuition. As is turns out, that low self esteem allowed my ego to constantly take over and drag my soul to these extremes, keeping me miserable and suicidal. These are the simplest ways I have learned to keep myself a little further away from that edge of insanity brought on by straying too far from neutral:
When sadness comes, do not fight it.
When happiness comes, enjoy it without question.
When anger becomes rage, feel that shit.
When anxiety comes, tell someone you trust.
When worry starts, remember that worry does nothing to solve the problem.
When you feel attachment, remember that nothing is permanent.
When you feel complacency, remind yourself that you know so very little.
When criticism comes to mind, remind yourself of how imperfect you are.
When love ignites, remember that self-love must comes first, always.
When you find yourself involved, remember a difficult time when others were too involved in your shit.
When you get that rotten feeling in your stomach that you should say no, but you are afraid, fucking say no.
When you get that lump in your throat feeling of red flags, don’t hesitate to run.
When you feel that warm tingle in your body from taking on too much, remember that people are allowed to change their minds and back out of commitments. Just fucking say no next time.
When you get that deflated, beaten down, hopeless feeling of not being heard, muster up whatever strength you have to say “Enough is enough mother fucker.”
When you feel that urge to escape, do it in a way that won’t leave you sucking dick for crack, like consensual sex, or hardcore weight lifting, or shove your face into your pillow and scream as loud as you can, if doing so will not have the police knocking down your door for a wellness check…
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