As a fact-check journalist, I am the opposite of gullible. I treat everything with skepticism until it is investigated, thoroughly analyzed and proven to be a solid fact.

In an era of speed dating, romance scam and digitalized relationships, a lot of people fall victims to fake love like they do to fake news. Regardless of where we meet someone – in person or online, it is important to verify the authenticity of their love, motives, expectations and intentions towards us.

To fact-check love, we have to understand what love truly is and what it’s not. Love is not just mere words or emotions. Knowing how to distinguish genuine love from fake love gives us wisdom on building long-lasting relationships and avoiding the toxic ones. Such insight also keeps us away from futile suffering and save us from devoting our time and resources towards the wrong people. Moreover, it will prevent us from hurting people and being guilty of not giving the right love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-6

One major element of love is trust but there’s a thin line between trusting and being gullible. Trust should be earned otherwise one could be easily deceived. Gullible people buy into relationships swiftly with less evidence than most trusters.

Although love is a different experience for different people, these four universal components can be used to validate its authenticity.

4 ways to identify genuine love:1. Sacrifice

There is no love without sacrifice. Cambridge dictionary defines sacrifice as the act of giving up something that is valuable to you. Genuine love is selfless, it is about giving to those we choose to love. Easily, we can tell if we genuinely love a person or if they love us by the sacrifices made or the willingness to.

2. Passion

Genuine love is expressed in passion. The strong, compelling desire for someone. The ultimate evidence of passion is shameless pursuit. Indisputably, we can identify passion by the intense enthusiasm and willingness to pursue and proclaim without shame.

3. Commitment

Commitment is the willingness to give and devout your self, time and resources towards making a relationship work. Commitment restricts freedom. It is paramount to decode a person’s motives because varying motives result in varying commitment. For example, if a person’s motive for being in a relationship is to get a green card, that person will be willing to commit until he/she acquires the green card. When motives are clear, we can easily identify genuine love by one’s level of commitment.

4. Pleasure

Imagine a passionate, committed and sacrificial relationship without pleasure!. How miserable? True love brings delight, joy, pleasure and satisfaction. In the pursuit of pleasure, there’s a willingness to undergo hardships or pain. Genuine love encompasses pleasure but it is not limited by its pursuit.

Genuine love is rarely an emotional space where needs are instantly gratified. To know love we have to invest time and commitment…’dreaming that love will save us, solve all our problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security only keeps us stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of the love — which is to transform us.’ Many people want love to function like a drug, giving them an immediate and sustained high. They want to do nothing, just passively receive the good feeling. –