This is a short article about how to take back your online life – it has elements of psychology and technology, the basic principle is to have your mind set on a specific goal that you want to achieve, and then have the internet as a tool at your disposal as opposed to the internet constantly directing/changing your mind.

Psychology Step 1 – what is the primary obtainable goal that you are currently striving for, is it a job, or a home, make one thing your priority and focus on obtaining that. For me right now it is simply to make it through the darker fall season while preserving good relationships and to feel happy as possible at home by sharing meals, respecting space, and committing to work. Try not to make promises that conflict with your goal or expect things to be promised to you in any way shape or form unless it is part of a mutually beneficial relationship. i.e. although I want to continue to develop skills I may need to accept non-ideal work and living situations – trying to understand others’ perspectives when obtaining something from them, be it a wage, a trade, or even enjoyment of free time.

Psychology Step 2 – while keeping in mind your goal, notice that you have a day to day needs that have to be fulfilled, these are desires, fulfill the desires, for food, and connection in the simplest way possible – I need to eat, connect with friends – without dwelling why you have a need or if theirs a somehow more important better way of fulfilling that need. Also, take care of necessities like cleaning before they create excessive shame. I would be relieved to make it through November without conflicts. Try to trust your instinct as opposed to overthinking why you have a certain need. i.e. I want to feel safe and supported and – take reasonable risks.

Fact – most social media algorithms including Facebook, Google, and Tiktok work on whether a user comes back to a certain type of content, and the time spent on that content. On average, a user spends 2 hours daily on social media weekly amounting to a full waking day per week. In other words, the algorithm doesn’t care about helping you achieve your goals, but rather whether or not you spend time on its content. (https://medium.datadriveninvestor.com/how-algorithms-power-social-media-addiction-unhappiness-5e9cf969881)

Computer step 1. Install Brave web browser in place of google chrome. Brave doesn’t track your browsing, hence it will not suggest things to you that you may have subconsciously picked up from elsewhere – although it does advertise, it is not based on your data so it won’t try to implant or manipulate desires -install brave on your phone as well, now when you browse it will be to serve your mind, or an employers task, or in pursuit of a friends goal. Remember to try to understand what the other reciprocating party might want or need from your relationship and use brave to help you in pursuing that goal without being distracted by advertising.

Step 2. Use protonmail in place of gmail. Google tracks your emails and fills your inbox with annoying ads – now when you communicate it will be to fulfill the mutual goals set through understanding with others. Finally, trust your instinct. I promise you if you follow these steps the internet will seem like a vast repository of empowering knowledge as opposed to an addictive drag on your personal power.

In summary, firstly set your mind on a specific goal or goal set that you can achieve. Then be aware that there are draws on your time as you fulfill your needs – set yourself up for success by not over complicating desires and dealing with necessities that might cause shame immediately. Secondly, use internet tools that support you to achieve your goals and are not designed to be addictive. Happy Surfing!