I grew up in a family that tucked everything under the family rug. We did not speak openly about deep, emotional trauma or talk about our dirty laundry in any way. All the issues I tucked under the rug as a child, young adolescent, and young adult came flooding into my mind making it difficult for me to care for my Mother because I did not know how to cope and deal with these issues as an adult.

After many years of therapy for various reasons, I found my voice. That was my turning point when I realized it would be more toxic for me to keep these issues inside and more healing to let them out. Once I acknowledged the transformative process was happening, I realized I could help other caregivers do the same.

Sherri Rosen:

Jessica Cannon:
“The Proactive Caregiver“ came to be as I stepped away from the corporate world as an accountant. I was still in the mindset of reviewing historical information, trying to find a trend, and trying to predict an outcome. I coined this as a caregiver because I was exhausted and emotionally beaten down by constantly reacting to situations.

Sherri Rosen:

Jessica Cannon:
I did not see it until I continued to meet more caregivers that asked the same questions I was asking, but they stopped just asking the questions. Most were able to express their sorrow and frustrations but did not know what questions to ask. Since I was accustomed to reconciling accounts and tracking trends, I naturally observed Mom objectively to find similar trends and answer my questions – mainly, “why is this happening?”

I connected the basic accounting equation of Assets = Liabilities + Equity with Dementia. In our case, Personal Assets = Experiences + thoughts or Soul = Body + Mind.

Sherri Rosen:

Jessica Cannon:
Learning what would happen next became crucial, so I could prepare before situations worsened. I didn’t feel prepared to handle certain situations, and I knew life would get harder because my Mother was declining. I wanted to be proactive instead of reactive. It was essential to plan for the future, so I could be in the present moment with her rather than feeling overwhelmed or stressed by a future that hadn’t taken place yet.

Sherri Rosen:

Jessica Cannon:
Compliance applies to the family caregiver, whether an adult child with a parent or spouse to spouse. Caregivers should have created five legal documents as soon as possible to assist them in legal and medical matters regarding their loved one’s care. In addition to the documents, there is also the need to choose a type of trust to have created in establishing their estate.

It is in the caregiver’s best interest to be proactive in obtaining these documents while their loved one is still mindful of their preferences.

SherriRosen:

Jessica Cannon:
I intend to share my story to help others understand how this silent killer of Dementia took over our lives and destroyed our family. I believe it will make others aware of specific areas that need change and how to go about it, which will help them prevent Dementia in the long run.

The stats of those living with Dementia are increasing, including those younger and younger. Dementia is no longer the older person’s forgetful disease to be diagnosed in a person’s 80s or 90s. No. Dementia is also affecting those my age and younger. When I dug into Mom’s history to track her symptoms, it was shocking to realize she was in her 40’s when we started to dismiss her as just being “crazy.”

Sherri Rosen:

Jessica Cannon:
For several decades, the consistent lessons learned related to Dementia have been surrounded by talk about our genes. Very little emphasis has been placed on prevention because the idea that our genes decide whether or not we will live with Dementia means we stop trying to be healthy. The problem with this mentality is that unless we have our genes tested and explained to us, we don’t know if that is true or not.

Researchers now understand the need to focus on the precursors of Dementia regardless of genetics. Just because my grandparents may have lived with a form of Dementia does not mean I will too. It means I have to take better care of myself regardless. I want people to know the power to prevent Dementia is up to them because Dementia is a disease of Accountability.

Sherri Rosen:

Jessica Cannon:
Because when the heart is broken, we engage in habits meant to numb us from the broken heart but end up destroying our mind in the process. These daily habits over some time cause deterioration of the brain, which exposes us to Dementia, including Alzheimer’s. I used painkillers to avoid feeling back pain. It took many years before I realized PTSD was causing most of my emotional pain. By then, I was already in a cycle of using painkillers to sleep, numb from the world, and then drinking tons of coffee to avoid feeling hung over by the morning. I was creating my own state of delirium and accepting it as aging.

Sherri Rosen:

Jessica Cannon:
Once I understood Mom’s patterns and history, I recognized some similarities in my life, so I took steps to be proactive by going to therapy. Then I began to change my daily lifestyle habits, spiritual regimens, and financial planning. Many of the issues I stressed about before stopped being such a daunting trigger of fear by picking the details apart. Being proactive for me was learning how to heal my inner child, who also helped me understand why the fractured parts of me existed.

Sherri Rosen:

Jessica Cannon:
There are seven stages of Dementia. Sadly, most people are diagnosed with Dementia by stage four.
Mom was diagnosed during early stage five because we kept dismissing or laughing at the oddities. We also avoided her during times too uncomfortable for us to grasp. This reaction is why our society struggles with mental health and well-being.

The behaviors we laughed at with Mom were the early signs of Dementia. We also selfishly ignored them because we did not want to take the time to address those uncomfortable issues. Even when we were bold enough to handle matters, we remained quiet as children because some topics were not allowed to be discussed openly.

Sherri Rosen:

Jessica Cannon:
No. Although it is primarily based on preventing Dementia, both are also about my reactions to Mom’s mental health to show others what they may be dismissed in their loved ones. They also include what I believe is a solid foundation for all caregivers to approach life with a spiritual, financial, and healthy lifestyle for a better quality of life.

Sherri Rosen: