Ugh, the dreaded word of ‘narcissists.’ It’s even a hard word on the tongue to say the ‘c’ and ‘s’ in a repetitive flow; however isn’t that what narcissists are so good at doing….flow? Oops, did that trigger something? I know it did for me when I had to move through the dreaded learning of narcissism when I was in the throes of my spiritual ascension. Then, just when I thought I escaped the narcissist for good another one showed up 13 years later to remind me that there was still some more clearing to do on that energy pattern for my own immunity.

You see, my first encounter with a narcissist was when I was 26 and I was so desperate to escape my family bloodline to explore more of who I was that I was bedazzled by the up and coming new guy on a radio station in my local town. Had I not been addicted to the group *NSYNC back in the day of their debut to the world then I would never had encountered the narcissist that I gave every inch of my energy. Well, you live and learn right?

I was an innocent little school girl at 26 who still believed in the idea that everyone was good and that fairytales existed. I was caught up in the mesmerization of this guy who seemed to be charismatic, put together & completely different from any other guy I had dated that I thought ‘he must be different.’ I was caught up in the fast paced lifestyle and excitement of life I had only dreamt about that in 9 months we got married and moved from Texas to Georgia for his new radio gig while I left everything in my world behind. That is when I truly began to learn that I was only a meal ticket to grow the narcissist even more instead of communing in a balanced partnership.

The marriage lasted 4 years before he decided that I was becoming a stronger individual who was catching onto his narcissistic pattern that he quickly went out to replace the life with me with a whole new life with someone else while leaving behind all the responsibility as if the life we had together never existed.

Well, there is always a silver lining in every narcissist story, right?

My silver lining is that even though I was left to do all the clean up work from the narcissists destruction I learned that it catapulted and sped up my actual spiritual awakening to my higher consciousness that improved my ability to heal the parts of me that attracted ‘that type of guy.’ Did I go through some extremely rough moments? Yes. Did I wish that I would never go through that again? Yes. Did I want to believe that I could find ‘the one’ who would love me for me without the narcissist label? Yes.

Guess what? My fairytale came true many years later and I met ‘the one.’ However, the narcissist energy showed up again in my world through a neighbor that would again spin me out of my alignment in order to help innocent children and an abused woman escape the throes of the narcissist. I learned that there are two kinds of narcissists. The first type of  narcissist is the grandiose type of person which is what my ex-husband exhibited. The second type of narcissist is the vulnerable person which the neighbor exhibited. Neither one is better than the other because they each run very similar patterns.

If you want to learn more about the types of narcissists then listen to this podcast episode… https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/shelbyradio/Are_You_In_A_Relationship_With_A_Narcissist_.mp3

When I had to experience the narcissist neighbor in order to bring up old energy that I still had to clear from a loop with the ex-husband I had the gift to see how narcissism runs through a family instead of just a husband and wife. Why did I just call that sight a ‘gift?’ Simple, because I got to see how that pattern of behavior is created, where it stems from, how it affects generations to come IF the narcissist isn’t stopped & how the narcissist quickly finds their next victim only to be left alone in the end to deal with their own narcissism. I actually got to experience vindication while also witnessing an abused woman getting free, teenage children ethically leaving the house after high school to develop emotionally away from the narcissist & the fall of the narcissist for good.

Narcissists lack empathy; therefore every move they make is calculated based on how you can serve them in order to feed their insecurity while bringing down your value, worth & boundaries. They are extremely calculated and if the victim has zero awareness to the pattern of narcissism then it is easy to be the next victim.

This Christmas if you have been dealing with a narcissist in your life then the best Christmas gift you can give to yourself is to say goodbye to being a victim of that behavior and utilize the learning to build up your value, your worth & your ethical boundaries.

2023 is going to be a great year of emotional shifting & it’s time to be free of any relationship that is only about what you can do for them instead of a balanced energy of what you can do for each other.

Cheers to freedom!