I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions, but I am struck by our collective desire to reflect as one year comes to an end and another begins. There’s a lot of energy at this time of year. We think about personal growth and change, reflect on the ups and downs of a past year and consider new directions for ourselves.

This is a good time to consider where you are on your own personal journey. And I’m not talking about where in terms of a destination. No, to me it’s about the ride itself, about how we can welcome every experience into our lives without pushing some away or grasping for others. It’s about accepting the present right where it is, while building habits of mind and body to ensure the future moments are as good healthy as possible.

And on this journey we inevitably encounter challenges. We all suffer sometimes. Recently, I’ve been in close touch with an old friend who’s in the midst of a terrible personal crisis. Another who’s battling his way through cancer. And as I reflected on all this early this morning, it became clear to me that how we manage these inevitable challenges – big or small-  determines the quality of our day to day life. How we respond to our own inevitable suffering on this planet determines our level of happiness and fulfillment.

Last Wednesday when I had to put down my dog Simba, I went through this mental exercise. I knew of course that I’d be sad to lose him. I also knew that he had a wonderful and long life, and that mine and my family’s was much enriched because of him. And in that moment I tried hard to choose the joy of having had him over the grief of the loss. This is how I choose to think of it.

In 2006 my late wife Molly wrote a poem that she read at our first Thanksgiving in our new home. The first 2 words of the poem are: “Love, Everblooming.” I’ve thought about these 2 words a lot. (It’s what I thought about early this morning and why I’m typing this right now). And when I think of those 2 words, I think of a well that can never be depleted for if love was the water in that well, every time it was used, it was replenished. And the more it was used, the more it replenished and the fresher it became. Indeed, I think love really does bloom in every moment – or it can if you want it to. You just have to look for it. There’s always something good to see, even if our vision is blurry from tears.

The capacity to see the love, the wonder, the good, in every moment, can be trained, it can be developed in you. It doesn’t always come naturally. Resist the temptation toward pessimism, toward division and darkness, which can seem to be all around us these days. Find your strength and see the good, the beauty that is unfolding in each ordinary moment. It’s there, I assure you. But it’s really up to you to recognize it.

My New Year’s wish for you is to see each moment in 2023 as a reason to celebrate, to be optimistic and to love the journey that you are on and those who ride with you however near or far away they are. And if you are suffering right now, know that you can transform that energy into something incredibly positive and helpful to you and everyone you come into contact with this year.