Is your partner testing you?

Do they keep trying to provoke a reaction out of you?

Maybe they are complaining about little details that you feel are unimportant and unnecessary to discuss.

Or maybe she isn’t willing to follow your lead, she challenges your direction and choices and questions everything you do.

These are all just signs that she is feeling something intuitively that you are unaware of and she doesn’t feel safe in her body to surrender to your leadership.

The feminine will often sense a lack of awareness in her masculine partner before he is aware of it.

She will feel it in her body, she will sense something is “off”, or something just doesn’t feel right.

What she is really sensing is something her partner is doing that is unconscious and therefore she can’t trust fully.

This could correlate to a shadow her masculine partner is unaware of, or even something he is hiding from her.

The typical reaction from the masculine when he is hiding something is to get offended or to deny that there is anything going on.

He may get upset and leave the room mid conversation, feeling like he is being accused, interrogated or under investigation.

If there is in fact nothing he is hiding, then likely this relates to an unconscious shadow he is completely unaware of that is causing incoherence in their energetic dynamic.

These shadows are usually deeper emotional wounds hidden under the feelings of shame and embarrassment.

These wounds create unconscious behaviours and conditioned reactions that don’t allow the masculines consciousness to penetrate his partners body and energy in the present moment.

This results in her feeling like her man isn’t present, or is distracted, or is not “showing up” for her.

She will feel like she is not being met in the most intimate, vulnerable space inside of her heart and will yearn for a deeper connection.

This connection, however, is obstructed by the unconscious emotional wound that the man is unaware of.

In order to create a greater depth inside of himself, so he can hold a greater depth in the container of his relationship, he must allow these painful unconscious wounds to surface and be processed fully.

Unfortunately the mainstream masculine culture has turned men against their own feelings.

It is unmanly or “weak” to feel vulnerable and in emotional pain, so many men suppress these feelings or deny and avoid them completely.

This avoidance and denial of the deeper feelings of life cause a chain reaction of coping which can turn into addictions like drugs, alcohol, porn, overworking, overthinking, etc…

When the masculine enters into the cycle of denial, it’s no wonder why his partner doesn’t trust him anymore.

Imagine he is driving a car, and he falls asleep at the wheel and injures his partner sitting in the passenger seat.

In order for her to return to a fully surrendered, trusting state, she must know that he understands why he fell asleep at the wheel and he has made the necessary correction so that it doesn’t happen again.

If he doesn’t get to the bottom of why the mistake happened, then he can do it again, and again, and again, all unconsciously of course, causing further damage and pain to his feminine partner.

This is why the feminine questions, and “interrogates”, she feels the unawareness of her partners shadow in her body and feels unsafe until this shadow is brought to light.

So what is the solution?

MEN, DO THE WORK…

If your partner doesn’t trust you, there is work to be done on yourself to dive into your unconscious shadow and bring to light whatever she is sensing so you can make a permanent change.

If you don’t take the necessary steps to uncover whatever unconscious behaviours are playing out and causing harm to your partner, the feminine will never be able to truly surrender to you, and the distrust will turn to resentment, anger, and a loss of respect, love and intimacy.

The benefit to facing your demons however will pay off tenfold.

When you do the work to get to the bottom of your unconscious patterns your partner will be grateful for the new depth you created and will surrender even deeper to you than before.

If you don’t know how to move through these inner blocks on your own and want some assistance book a free 60 minute “Heal Your Intimacy Blocks” Coaching session with me through the link in our bio.

With Love,

Kai